Cold Call On The Hot Line

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Details

  • Status: B-side
  • Length: ?
  • Significant releases: The Man Comes Around (12") (27 February 2026)
  • First played live: Not Yet Played
  • Recorded: Recorded during the demo sessions for More and mixed at Place du Big Boss by Jason Buckle, for release on 27th February 2026.

Credits

  • Writers: Pulp
  • Lyrics: Jarvis Cocker
  • Producer: tbc
  • Engineer and mixer: Jason Buckle
  • Studio musicians
    tbc

Lyrics

Hello
Fine
You know, I'm really into you
Why don't you turn this monologue into a conversation?
Why don't you make me?
Why don't you heat up the hotline?
Got a good connection, you're coming through loud and clear
Your voice is hot in my ear
Your voice is inside my head
But it's all a bit one-sided
Please help me become a well-rounded personality
Because you're well-rounded as far as I can see

Is this a nuisance call?
Tell me if it is
If the hotline has gone cold
I'm working to a deadline
I don't want to be talking to a dead line

You could be entitled to compensation
Hello voicemail
I've heard of phone sex, but phone impotence, that's a new one on me
I'm really into you
Will you accept this call?
Don't hang up on me

Sending smoke signals
In a connected world
When a text would do
Or preferably, a few kind words

Wash your mouth out
Eat my words
Are you otherwise engaged?
Enraged?
Have you any idea how much this call is costing me?
Long-distance love is outrageously expensive
Paying through the nose
It's good to talk
Whisper sweet nothings, murmur softly
You're music to my ears
Calls may be recorded for training purposes
This is a masterclass in telephoning
For future generations

Your call has been accepted
You are number 39 in the queue
In the meantime, here's some music

Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall

Sending smoke signals
In a connected world
When a text would do
Or preferably, a few kind words

Trapped in a holding pattern
Holding on for dear life
Give me a sign
Please pick up and make this monologue a conversation
Don't hang up on me when I'm so hung up on you
I think we got our wires crossed

Sorry, wrong number

Notes

The music for this song was written by Candida Doyle

Page last modified on February 24, 2026, at 12:07 PM