Work in progress:
Yes, we are Pulp, and we sound like this...
I'm sorry if you were expecting me to have blonde hair and be wearing a short dress, because Hole aren't playing this evening. And I think... [heckles from crowd] maybe Kurt Cobain is tidying his room and Courtney is trying to stop him taking drugs while he does it. [more heckles] It's a hard life being in a band, innit? It's really, really hard, it's really difficult. And that's why you have to turn to drugs, 'cos there's such a lot of pressure, it's terrible, you know... having to get up at eleven o'clock in the morning.
[In response to a comment from the audience] That's it I'm a poof: I don't care who knows it. Let's all be secure in our own sexual persuasions, hey, it doesn't really matter does it? You know, I'm not bothered, you can be making love to whatever species of animal or person or whatever... [more hostility from a minority of the crowd] You ought to learn to be a human being. This is called 'Have You Seen Her Lately?'
This is a song about the first time you had sex, yeah? I don't really believe in songs with messages, but if there is a message it's - it doesn't really matter if it's a mess, or if it isn't exactly what you want it to be, because it's one of those things you have to do a bit to get better at. And I hope to be doing it later this evening... There's not room for it on here.
Alright, I'm going to play the guitar now. The thing is we're here in this room, but you have to imagine there's lots of people listening outside, maybe in a bath, maybe driving home in a car. And so you can all say whatever you want and whatever you said now will get beamed out. So what do you want to say to the people who are at home? Come on, say something uplifting... [discordant shouting] That's uplifting is it...
Alright, thank you very much. We're going to play the last song we're going to play for this evening now. But before we do that, I'd just like to ask you whether you've enjoyed yourselves... [enthusiastic cheers] 'cos there's no point in coming out in the evening unless you enjoy yourself, yeah? And I hope you've met some people, who you're going to have conversations with later on, 'cos it should be a social education... occasion even, it's not a seminar, you know? 'Cos we're in it together you know... yeah? It's not us and them, it's us, you know what I mean? So, 'His 'n' Hers'...
That's it, good night, thank you very much, you've been very kind, we love you.
Will - July 21, 2011 at 12:44 AM