Jarvis: Hi, welcome to XFM listeners today. This is Jarvis, and Steve's here...
Steve: Hello there.
Jarvis: And we're here to play you some records on Sunday afternoon. If you're feeling a little bit fragile - as people sometimes do on a Sunday afternoon - we're going to ease you in gently, just like Bobby did there when it was summer the first time, when he first learnt the beauty of a woman, and we're going to ease you into the afternoon in much a similar way. And maybe kind of build to some sort of climax sometime around six. Which is, err, worth looking forward to, so stay with us 'til then. This is, err, some French stuff...

Jarvis: You're back with Steve and Jarv, and we're playing records this Sunday afternoon and that was 'Satisfaction' by Devo. And we had a reason for playing that Steve, didn't we?
Steve: Yeah, I was, erm, watching the Brit Awards last night, which... You weren't there this year, were you Jarvis?
Jarvis: I wasn't there. No, they didn't send me an invitation. I don't know why.
Steve: The first thing that struck me was how they've got a convention now of murdering other people's songs every year. And last year it was Abba, which I think was B*Witched and S Club 7 and all that, and they seemed to surpass it this year, when they had Queen with Five and...
Jarvis: Really, I haven't seen it. I've taped it, but I haven't seen it.
Steve: But, the best bit was, some bright spark came up with the idea of the London Broncos rugby team playing drums.
* Laughing in the studio *
Steve: And erm, you know, I don't know where they're going to go from here, so I thought we should try and redress the balance by playing a few cover versions that are quite good.
Jarvis: Right.
Steve: 'Cos often people murder songs when they do a cover version.
Jarvis: [...] And now we're going to play 'I Wanna Be Your Dog' by Dakar and Grinser. Are they German by any chance?
Steve: I think they're from Southall.
Jarvis: Are they, alright. Let's have a listen to them...

Jarvis: So that was our little segue of cover versions that were worth doing: that last one, 'Step On' Happy Mondays, originally done by John Kongos...
[...]
Jarvis: Now because it is Sunday, we thought we'd just go up to the news with songs either with a religious theme and that actually mention the word Sunday in them. This is very smooth slick radio, and this first one is 'A Warning Talk, Part 1' David Axelrod.

Jarvis: Okay, it's just turned five - you don't get many time checks on radio now, do you? - just turned five, and you've brought something in to play us, haven't you Steve?
Steve: It's a copy of the new Elastica album. It's called The Menace. I don't know what that refers to, but there's about 15 tracks on it, it comes out in about six weeks, and it's been about five and a half years in the making. Which is... I don't want to put any pressure on them. I think they have done quite a wise thing, it's quite stripped back and I don't think there will be any comparisons with like Stone Roses and stuff, who tried to go big on their next album. And it sort of sounds like how Elastica should do.
Jarvis: Yeah.
Steve: It's quite, err, harsh and up and...
Jarvis: So we've got a bit of an exclusive here then?
Steve: Could be.
Jarvis: I'm just trying to sell it.
Steve: Yeah, this is a track they did with Mark E Smith, which, err, I think they found him in a pub when they were recording it and did some deal regarding lager.
Jarvis: Right.
Steve: And he came next door and did a vocal. So let's have a listen to it.
Jarvis: Can you tell how many lagers have been consumed?

Jarvis: Yeah, come on, Lurkers.
Steve: Yeah, have you ever done any diverse underground dancing to that Jarvis?
Jarvis: I have done, yeah. I love that record me. From Fulham, I believe, the Lurkers were.
Steve: Shadow, shadow
Jarvis: Well, we started off that big section, because we had the track from the Elastica album, which led us into a bit of a New Wave frenzy, didn't it?
Steve: It did, yeah, we got a bit, erm, carried away.

Jarvis: [...] we kind of worked our way through some house classics there. [...] that last one was 'Polyblend' Ursula 1000, which we, during the course of it, found that we've been playing it at the wrong speed when we've been DJing, haven't we?
Steve: Yeah, it sounds much better at 45, if anybody owns it out there.
Jarvis: Yeah, but it looks like we've come to the end of our little bit of time here on XFM, we hope that you've enjoyed it, we hope we've helped you through a Sunday afternoon.
Steve: What kind of note would you like to leave on Jarvis?
Jarvis: Well, that's the trouble, innit? We're now going to play a song to go out, it's probably, maybe, the song with the most negative lyrics I've ever come across in my entire life. It's by Neil Sedaka, but don't turn the radio off right now, and it's a song called 'Going Nowhere'. We're going home, but he's going nowhere. Thanks for listening and hopefully we might do it again sometime.
Steve: Thanks a lot.