Crikey! It's Pulp People Number Seventeen. I don't think I ever thought we'd get into double figures. But that was before this fame thing happened and we found ourselves with 2500 members... we didn't really know what was going to happen back then - and now look at us. Mark started off charging £2 to join Pulp People. Even then only about 50 people did, and that was just because he charmed us into it.

Yeah, anyway, enough nostalgia. Number seventeen. It's big time now. But, as so many of you know, we still manage to retain that unique personal* touch. (*Here you can substitute inefficient / lazy / an adjective of your choice) - we know we piss you off sometimes - what can I do to convince you that we really do do our best to provide you with a decent service? There's only two of us here... things are bound to go wrong occasionally. Take Celine Picchiottino, for example. Got a letter from Celine the other week complaining (ever so nicely) about having to fork out another 60FF to renew her membership, and how it doesn't seem fair because new fans only pay 70FF to receive everything...WRONG! Celine, and anyone else about to complain about the cost of joining Pulp People, it costs £12 / £15(or 150FF) / £20(or $30), depending on where you live - it hasn't cost 70FF for ages. We ensure it costs less to renew your membership than it does to join initially. Anyway, Celine, members joining now don't get the things that you got - and in the same way, you did not receive the things that the people who joined in '92 received. Maybe a history of Pulp People is in order to clear up any confusion. I'll get Webber on the case. And whilst I'm on about it, membership does not last for a year - you get 6 newsletters plus whatever comes with them, for your money, and most Pulp People will know by now that it takes more than a year to produce six newsletters! And you can always write to us for an update if you want to know what's going on - anyone'll tell you we answer pretty much every letter we get, eventually. Celine suggested that, because of the phenomenal sum of money we were costing her, perhaps we could give you more presents and make the newsletter a bit longer than it is, and make it monthly...BLIMEY! Let me get my calculator: Every time we do a mailout, it costs roughly £600 in postage alone - printing is at least another £400. If we make the newsletter any bigger, the postage would be more, and overall costs would increase. This is why we're having to save up for the scrapbook - it's going to be pretty substantial and therefore expensive to print - but worth it in the end we hope. It'll be something to read when it's a bit quiet next year. I'm not meaning to go on about this money thing (no, really, I'm not) - I just want to explain that we don't sit in some big shot office raking your student grants in and doing as little as possible in return. As for making the newsletter longer, God, it takes us long enough to put the thing together as it is, it's taken three weeks to get around to writing this bit. I promise not to mention money again, ok, but just remember - we don't make any.

Where was I? I think I just wanted to get that off my chest. I've totally forgotten what I was going to say now. Oh yes - this is the page where I tell you what's going down in the world of Pulp. Some things you will already know about, but remember we have to cater for our friends in faraway lands, not everyone can pick up an NME to find out what's going on every week. I certainly don't, it's complete cak, that's why.

There's so much news this time that I'm going to require an extra page to tell you all about it. So in no particular order:

Barcelona

As reported in the last newsletter, Pulp went to Barcelona to play on Saturday 24th August. What we should have said was that it was at a private party, for which there were no tickets on sale, but we didn't know this at the time. It was a big executive bash sponsored by Holsten Pils, who invited Pulp to play - Leftfield were there too - they played an hour long set, including Whysky in a Jar, and some lucky Pulpsters were able to go, courtesy of competitions in local papers and music magazines. It wasn't organised by Pulp or their management, which is why we couldn't do the same. Sounds as if they all had a rocking good time though.

Mystery Pressing of Disco 2000!

Reports have been coming in about a mysterious German mispressing of the Disco 2000 12". Rather than the three anticipated studio tracks, the listener is subjected to the horror of Pulp live in Hamburg in December '95 - "Sorted...", "Do You Remember the First Time?", "I Spy", and "Pencil Skirt". Collectors item or what!

Chelmsford Bootlegs

The dust has barely settled and the bootleggers are already at it - we've not got a copy yet, but I'm told you can get one down at Camden Market.

Bernard Lenoir Axed!

This is bad news, not just for Pulp fans, but for anyone who listens to his show. Apparently, the new boss of France Inter has put an end to his show, which means no more Black Sessions - ha ha, bet you wish you'd entered that competition now, don't you! Maybe it's not as final as it sounds, we don't know... I guess it's like getting rid of John Peel or Mark Radcliffe. Bummer.

Different Class Songbook:

We get a lot of letters from people who want to learn Pulp songs for themselves. Well, those on Different Class have been available for a while now in a book: "each song from the album in complete piano, voice, and guitar arrangements. Includes lyrics and guitar chord boxes". But it's still a problem getting the scores for older Pulp songs - you'll just have to work them out for yourselves. Sadly the book does not appear to be available in Canada or the USA, but I'm sure this will change. Should anyone want to order it, the details are: Polygram/Island Music ltd, order no.AM935462, isbn 0711955476. Or check out the website at http://www.musicsales.co.uk

Wax Cocker

Jarvis had his first 3 hour sitting at Madame Tussauds on Friday 13th September for his Rock Circus double... a lucky start for the soon to be molten man.

Birthday Boys

Just to say that you can be sure all the cards and presents sent in for Mark and Jarvis reached their destinations safely. Apart from the ones we stole, of course.

Help The Aged

This is the only new song to have received an airing at V96 - but it's not finished, and there are no plans to make it the next single, so stop asking us if it will be!

Pulp Information Service, Trinity Street, Leamington Spa

This PO Box is not only a mystery to you lot, it's a mystery to us too. As you know, they send out postcards, fliers, & merchandise information, but getting anything else out of them is darn near impossible. Well it turns out that if you write to the PO Box with questions, you may as well write to us, because all they do is forward the letters back up here anyway. So, don't waste your time writing to them with the same questions & requests you write to us with - they won't reply. Bastards!

Pulp releases

Island are rereleasing the first singles and albums that Pulp recorded for them, in what can only be described as a cash in. Naturally the word is that they are doing it because there is such great demand for them, but that's not what it sounds like to us. At first it was going to be cd only (Virgin are doing a three for £10 offer) but we think there's going to be some vinyl too - details are still a bit sketchy. Maybe even coloured vinyl, which means we'll get loads of letters from people who think it's a terrible rip off (but who'll buy them anyway). Even worse, Intro, His n Hers, and Different Class are being made available at a special discount price of 8.99. Mid price Pulp, who'd have thought it?! I'm willing to bet my favourite Yoko lp that it won't stop here.

Also available, on import only right now, are three cd's: Common People '96, Different Class (Japanese), and Second Class.

The first, a cute little single, features Common People '96 (which doesn't appear to be any different from any other version) and Do You Remember The First Time. The cover is a photo of a Pulpesque teenage girlie relaxing on a sofa with a copy of the Clothes Show Magazine on her lap. Nice, but a bit pointless really!

The Japanese import of Different Class comes with a little booklet containing the lyrics, and what I'm presuming is a history of Pulp, though I'm only guessing, as it's written entirely in Japanese.

The Second Class thing is a double cd - one white, one black. The white one is just Different Class, whilst the black one, entitled Second Class, is a compilation of hard to find B sides and things: Mile End / Ansaphone / P.T.A. (Parent Teacher Association) / Live Bed Show (extended) / Your Sisters Clothes* / Seconds / Deep Fried in Kelvin / The Babysitter / Street Lites. (*Printed as "Yours Sisters Clothes") If you can't get hold of this but would like it taped, Jason Riley has offered to tape it for anyone who sends him a C60 or £2. Jason's address is [...]. He's also got a copy of Pulp Sex Appeal cd for sale, £6. I'd better stop before this page becomes a Jason Riley special.

http://www.rise.co.uk/pulp

I'm sure that most of you have heard of and/or visited the Pulp website by now. It's fast becoming one of the biggest band sites on the internet. When I first took a look at it six months ago, it looked lovely, with duvet-cover backdrops, band profiles, illustrated discography and lots of other things to keep you from wondering how much money you were spending in telephone charges.

At the time I thought the site would probably be unchanged for a few weeks, as there was plenty to keep fans interested. How wrong was I? Very wrong indeed. During the recent V96 festival in Chelmsford an unmarked portacabin was covertly parked next to the main stage. Inside stood computers and AMX staff, beaming the concert all over the world to fans who were unable to get to Chelmsford. (Sod the ones who couldn't make it to a computer). They had already conducted interviews with the band and put them online by the time we had got there. This was all a bit too much for me (you should've seen the state of him - Narcotics Ed.) - I couldn't wait to get home so I could take a good look at the whole site. What I saw stunned me completely. On dialing up the page you get an animated Jarvis welcoming you to the site and, like a lot of people, he explains that this internet thing goes over his head. The title page is the same as before but with a special V96 feature including 'Sorted for Q's and A's', where fans e-mail questions; a US Tour Diary with pictures and interviews of the band in America; a competition which puts even our givaways in the shade - prizes included fan club membership, limited edition promo's, bootlegs and special merchandise; and pictures of Pulp fans from Chelmsford. Besides these
new additions, the site has been expanded in other, older parts. The photo gallery is littered with snapshot photos from their Japanese tour and the press section has more articles from back issues of NME and magazines such as Details. Phew!!

The speed the site is downloaded into the computer is fantastic. Unlike most websites where you can spend five minutes waiting for a picture to be displayed on the screen, most images are staring you in the face in few seconds. For people in the know, the site is best viewed with Netscape Navigator or Microsoft Explorer; most people have access to these applications anyway. And the higher the transmission rate your modem runs at, the better (Though I found it worked fine on a 14,400 bps model).

There are a few other web sites and newsgroups (see opposite page) dedicated to all things Pulp. These are unofficial sites run by fans for fans. Most of them tend to rip off the Pulp people newsletter or the official website on Rise. Don't take the information from these sites as totally up to date, or even true. Some of these sites have been left untouched and forgotten, floating around in cyberspace for quite a while. They're worth checking out, but if you like your information straight from the horses mouth, write to us and we'll do our best to answer your questions.

So, just how many people saw Pulp without actually being there? In addition to the 33,000 at Chelmsford, 4,000 extra people saw the event live on the Internet. Since then, the concert was stored at the website for two weeks after, a further 140,000 have downloaded the concert from Rise's site. That's a lot of Pulp fans!! Hope they don't all write in at once...

Thanks to Paul Haswell for giving us the low down on the Lipgloss Mailing List. As you know, we're not exactly what you could call on the cutting edge of technological advancements here at Pulp Towers, so we didn't know about this before. We know now, though, and apparently it's going crazy at the moment - really busy. Seeing as so many of you have e mail and Internet access, you might like to get in touch. Over to you, Paul:

"Lipgloss was set up a year ago, by Ned Raggett, at UCE. He'd noticed that although there were a fair few lists around on the Internet, there were none dedicated to his favourite bands of the time, such as Suede, Blur, and of course Pulp.

Lipgloss is one of the friendliest mailing lists I've ever known. Though we have discussions on all the usual mailing list stuff, we also talk about more diverse Pulp - related topics, such as our first and worst sexual encounters, times when we've been described as perverse and exactly what is so sexy about Jarvis. Whilst people on the list are coming and going all the time, there are also a core of about ten hardcore Lipgloss personalities. For example, I'm known as "Pencil Skirt Guy"; we have a 33 year old woman with the hots for Russell; and of course there's Thanos, who went to every gig on Pulp's US tour...

Most of the people on the list are American, most of whom have met up at various American concerts. If you fancy getting in touch, you can reach Lipgloss at
Lipgloss@[...]

The Fantastic Dr Pulp!

The fantastic Dr. Pulp has been frantic this month due to the amount of questions you've sent in. As always, he does his very best to find the right answers. We reserve the right to edit, ignore or make up any questions that may offend the group's delicate sensibilities. If your querie isn't included this time, we'll try to fit it in the next issue.

♦ First patient is Lynsay Pitcairn from Kirkcudbright. She had a long list of questions for the group, many of which have been asked at some time or another. So here, for the last time, are the authoritative answers!
When asked to sing his favourite line from his favourite Pulp song, Mark happily, if not altogether convincingly, trilled "Pitsmoor woman, Oh let me in tonight", from My Legendary Girlfriend. Nick's is from Sheffield Sex City, but I couldn't work out which line it was - let's just say the whole lot, it'd be hard to pick just one. Russell went for "Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah", from Babies (no I'm not making this up). In the unlikely event of Pulp being awarded OBE's, Candida, Mark and Nick said they would of course accept. Russell too, but "only to please the relatives". As for who is the Ringo of the band, and why? Nick provided the answer: "I'd say Russell - well Ringo's famous for being the fourth best drummer in The Beatles isn't he, and as most people in Pulp are better guitar players than Russell, there's your answer". Err, thanks for that insight, Nick. Candida's reply was more sensible: 'Nick, 'cos he's the drummer". When asked who influenced the group the most, Nick says that the band that most influenced Pulp was the Sex Pistols (much more convincing than Russell's "Judge Dredd"), Candida said the Manics but I think it was a Doyle jape. As for the scariest item of underwear ever thrown onstage, Nick reckoned, "a pair of glasses". Russell said, "Men's Y-Fronts". Candida, understandably, said, "a 36DD bra". When asked, "Do you want to be bigger than Jesus?", Nick replied "Does anyone know how tall he was?".

♦ Sarah Beatham of Knaresborough has been feeling a bit uptight and is wondering if the group have any tried and tested methods of relaxation?
Mark spends (lots of) money; Nick walks his dog, Malcolm. Russell's "never mastered the art of relaxing, and all Candida needs is "a sunny day, a good film, and tea"

♦ Filipa Alfonso from Lisbon wonders, what do Pulp think about 'Romo'?
Mark speaks for the whole group if not the whole world in saying that he doesn't actually think about Romo. Ever. Nick on the other hand rightly supposes: "It's an old washing powder with an R' on the front, isnt it?" Russell finds it "of no great cultural significance".

♦ Andrew Mays from Hull would like to know if the group have a favourite Pulp concert?
Nick's reply was the Drury Lane 'do' in December 94; Mark's was at the Halifax Leisure Centre in 19[91], Russell's was the Heineken festival performance in 1995, and Candida's was the recent Shetland Islands date.

♦ Georgina Winter from High Wycombe wants to know who the band think are the brightest hopes/new bands for the future?
Nick enthused about 'Rocket From The Crypt' and 'Super Furry Animals'; Mark is pretty keen on 'Tiger' and 'Broadcast'. We're sticking with Soulbossa, Baby Birkin and the Electric Sound Of Joy.

♦ Jason Reilly from Barton-upon-Humber wonders what Jarvis is going on about in the intro to 'She's a lady'?
We couldn't get a definitive answer on this one, but Mark reckons it's about a dream that Jarvis had once - further details are sketchy but this dream featured Mark and, we think, a Chinese Takeaway... (?)

♦ Miss Alex Douet of Surrey is wondering what the "Pulpy lot are currently grooving to?"
Nick's chilling to Miles Davis, whilst Mark is checking out early Japan and Gary Numan. And in case you're interested, we never take Scott 4 or "The Relaxing Sound Of Bert Kaempfert" off the Pulp Towers turntable. Russell's into "early ska by unknown bands". Not giving much away there, Russell. Candida just can't stop playing the last Beck lp.

♦ One of our few Icelandic Pulp people, Gullu, is keen to find out what the group thought of the bands who played before them in Iceland, Funkstrasse, Botnledja, and SS Sol?
Mark seemed to be under the impression that all three bands were made up of the same group of people, even though he only actually saw Funkstrasse - "quite good, very into their dancing." Nick could only suggest that the Icelandic air and beer seemed to affect people in a very strange way. Russell: "Great names, can't comment on the music as I didn't see them".

♦ The fantastically named Harry Pye from London is on dodgy ground with his question - "What do the group think of the actor Gene Wilder, whether they have a favourite film , and so on?"
Mark refuses point blank to watch any GW film, especially those featuring Richard Pryor. Nick thinks he's alright, "nice frizzy hair", 'Stir Crazy' and 'Charlie And The Chocolate Factory' were nominated as being particularly popular in the Banks' household. Candida's favourite GW film is "Silver Streak". Russell, never one to beat about the bush, said: "I think Gene Wilder adds nothing to the happiness of mankind and has no right to exist". Well Harry, we did warn you!

♦ Favourite things crop up a lot in your questions - Amber Monett asks for the group's favourite food, band, item of clothing and thing to do on a day off
OK, here goes. Food - Mark: warm goat's cheese salad; Nick: Sunday Dinner; Russell: Black Chicken, Garfish, giant puffballs, or traditional goose; Candida: Carrot & coriander soup. Band - Mark: Velvet Underground; Nick: Burt Bacharach; Russell: Early Stones; Candida: Black Grape. Item of Clothing - Mark: Brown cords; Nick: His new black jeans, which are quite fluffy; Russell: His new suit, hand made in Sheffield; Candida: A new cardigan from Miss Selfridge. Thing to do on a day off - Mark: Take a boat trip; Nick - Walk Malcolm; Russell: Collect fungi; Candida: "Nothing".

♦ Many of you have asked his Doctorness what are the group's favourite films?
Mark's fave flick is by that well known director of wholesome family films, Roman Polanski - ' The Tenant' (1976); Nick's choice is 'Midnight Cowboy' (John Schlesinger, 1969), closely followed by 'Quatermass and the Pit' (Roy Ward Baker, 1967), "very frightening indeed." Russell's pretty keen on Fellini's 'La Dolce Vita' (1960) - we wouldn't recommend this to anyone under 18, as it's very rude indeed! Much more suitable is 'The Wizard of 0z' (Victor Fleming, 1939), which is Candida's fave.

♦ Lots of Pulp people have been asking which football team the group support.
At last we have the answers: Nick, Steve and Jarvis are all Wednesday fans, whilst Candida and Russell support Sheffield United; Mark is neutral, although Nick assures us that Mark, Candida and Russell "Wouldn't know a football if it slapped them in the face."

♦ The lovely Zebulon of Tournico... Pulp fame wants to know who were the two "Rappers" who "danced" with Pulp during 'Sorted' at the Brits and at Wembley?
We didn't actually witness this ourselves but we are assured that the pair were Pete Mansell and Danny Doyle (Candida's boyfriend and brother, respectively). Danny's band, Chin, supported Pulp in the Shetlands.

♦ Rachel Marfleet from Doncaster wanted to know what Pulp thought of England's performance in Euro '96?
Mark responded with "Surprisingly coherent - I was impressed that they bumbled their way as far as they did." Nick - "Very, very good. But also disappointing that they didn't make it to the final." Apparently their footballing prowess made Russell "proud to be English". Even Candida was "very Impressed".

♦ Marina, from Sevenoaks, wonders what Russell's children think of their Dad's music?
"They genuinely like it", is the official response from Senior Mansions.

You may have noticed a distinct lack of answers from certain members of the group. All I can say is, we tried - it's not our fault if some people are lazy buggers who obviously don't give a toss about their fanclub.

Competition Time!!

Well, what can I say. A staggering 59 entries! Obviously the strict telling off you all received in the last newsletter galvanised you into action. (Well, 2.3% of you). In true Pulp People style we award the prizes to the answers we liked the most, rather than the most accurate ones. But to be fair (for a change) as a lot of you made an effort to check up on Richard Banks' real job description, we figured we'd better print some "correct" ones, although lets face it, the true nature of Richard's very existence is woolly to say the least. I know, it's not fair, because your chances of winning depend entirely on what mood we're in on the day. But please don't let this stop you sending answers in. The 'official' answer to the question, "What does Richard Banks do for Pulp?" is of course, he's their Personal Assistant. Black Session CD's go out to Loan Tran of North Hills, California & Tony Roberts of Colwyn Bay, Wales. On the other hand, we liked these answers a lot too:

"For those of us familiar with the fauna of the Farne Islands, Richard Banks is a familiar sight. Capering madly about, grinning and eating carrots, Richard is one of the area's most colourful attractions. Few of us realise that Richard is also an invaluable assistant to the well known Jungle-Techno pop group Pulp. Richard's many duties include making Evian water bottles out of little bits of string and functioning as an extra speaker in the event of an equipment malfunction. Richard is also fully portable and comes in his own stylish faux-leather attache case. Finally Richard's special built-in sonar ray allows him to locate members of Ocean Colour Scene within a five kilometre area. Hoorah for Richard!!" (Stephen Smith, Garden City, NY.)

"Is he Nick Banks' dad, therefore a bodyguard to his son and the group, trying to stop all Michael Jackson fans from duffing them up?" (Jane Manley, Cambridge)

Sadly no prize goes out to Bev from St. Ives, Cambs, who responded: "Nick Banks plays Yamaha drums, Zildjian cymbals, percussion." No no no no no, Bev.

Kimiyo Endo from Japan does not receive a prize either because we have a rule about people winning competitions more than once, despite sending in excellent answers: "Richard Banks acts as a double of Jarvis so Jarvis doesn't need to sign while walking anymore." So the cat's out of the bag then!

Return to Sender

Well, as usual the Royal Mail has returned several undelivered newsletters from the last mailout. If you are any of the following people, let us know your new/correct address and we'll send them on:
[10 names].

Are You Lonesome Tonight?

We have concrete, if not matrimonial, evidence that this section does work, so here are three more tales of woe and lovelessness.

The first lonely lad comes from Ashford in Middlesex. Matthew [...] met "the most gorgeous Pulpette whilst at V96, Chelmsford. Unfortunately silly old Matt never discovered her name!! She was with a friend called Hayley and we think she came from near Southend. She wore a T-Shirt with a target on and Matt wore a Pulp T-Shirt from the last tour. All he wants is for his mystery girl to get in touch. If anyone can help, write to Matt at [...], Ashford, Middlesex, [...].

Second loveless individual is young Jennie [...], who is not after a lost love so much as a first. She's eleven but passes for thirteen (crikey!), and is yearning for a Danny Supergrass lookalike. We suspect that there aren't many twelve-year old boys who could quite manage those sideburns, but she says give it a try anyway. Jennie lives at [...], London, [...].

Loneliness must run in the Gilbert family because Jennie's older sister, Claire, is in need of some loving too. Preferably from (and we can hardly bring ourselves to write this) Ocean Colour Scene lookalikes and mods, about fourteen to eighteen, to "blah on about bantering bobbins", apparently. Same address as above. Just think, we could be doing a 'Double Wedding Special' next issue!

Stars in their Eyes

This was going to be an exciting surprise, til the NME got hold of it. We flipped out completely when we got a letter on special "Stars in their Eyes" headed pink note paper, telling us about Gareth Dickenson's forthcoming appearance as Jarvis - but not half as much as they did when we phoned them up. You could feel the researcher's excitement as he shrieked "It's Pulp on the phone!" (which of course it wasn't, really) all around the office. When we'd both calmed down it turned out that it was photos and videos of Jarvis that they were after, so the Stars in Their Eyes top stylists could start planning the transformation.

Many of you will already be familiar with the budding star, as he travelled to V96 Warrington in the Pulp Express (nothing to do with us - it was put on by the Promoters) and was one of the competition winners; he's a 20 year old student who, according to the researcher, is just incredible in his incarnation as Jarvis Cocker. Can't wait!

The show will be broadcast on ITV in January. Graham will be recording sometime in November. Graham is not a Pulp person, but we'll try to get an exclusive interview or at least a "What it was like to meet lovely Matthew Kelly" type of feature for the next newsletter.

Stars in Their Eyes seems to be having something of an eighties extravaganza because other contestants in the new series include Roddy Frame, Martin Fry, Simon le Bon and Tony Hadley. Far worse is the prospect of a Liam Gallagher, which is also on the cards.

Mercury Prize Shocker

Well they did it, didn't they? I know most of you will know about this, having seen it for yourselves on tv, but for the record, and also for Pulp People living in far off lands, here's a reconstruction together with a transcript of the speech.

Pulp had already played "Bar Italia" (for the first and last time on tv) to the music execs, a pretty wonderful version it was too, very laid back. After that the programme went through all of the groups and singers up for the prize, and the commentators, including the hideously irritating Tony Parsons, volunteered their own preferences. Actually it was very tense, as the Mercury Prize is quite unpredictable, so anyone could have won and it wouldn't have been at all surprising if Pulp hadn't. The group didn't have any inkling themselves until cameras began congregating around their table just before the winner was announced - up until then they were as much in the dark as everyone else.

Simon Frith, music critic for The Observer, came on stage to announce the winner, after which (amid much applause) we saw Pulp getting up from their table to make their way to the stage. Mark looked really miserable, Nick sprayed champagne everywhere, Jarvis and Steve just didn't look especially bothered - yep, they were obviously thrilled to bits. After they made it to the stage and Jarvis had whispered something to Mark (probably, "don't get too excited, I'm gonna give it all away"), Jarvis made this "speech":

J: "Thankyou... yeah... erm... the thing is with this award, erm, I think I speak for everybody when I say we're pleased to have it - isn't that right..?"

C: "Yeah"

N: "S'right, dead right"

J: "In actual fact, the thing is we've had our kind of award already because people have bought quite a lot of copies of our album so what we'd like to do is instigate a new music award right here tonight (taps microphone)... and the award is called The Pulp Music Award... and, er, the, er, two contestants in it are called, er, it's a record called War Child, and Child of War, and I can just tell you that the winner of that is...(Candida whispers something to Jarvis)... War Child. So I'd like to invite Brian Eno, Mr - er -

S: "Tony Crean"

J: "Tony Crean, to come up here and accept the award!"

At that point the fantastic Brian Eno (looking a bit porky it must be said) shambles up on to the stage and Jarvis hands him the award.

Probably just as well, because if that speech was anything to go by, Jarvis was completely pissed, and much better off off stage than on.

And that was your lot. The cash was handed over, the trophy whisked off to Rough Trade, and everyone carried on as normal. Apparently, most of Pulp went and sat with Norma Waterson, who's a really big fan - all of them became firm friends!

Penpals

✸ First up is Eve [...] from [...], Grimsby, [...]. Eve is 16, no excuse for liking Suede, Manics, Marion, Longpigs, Elastica, Strangelove, Pistols, PIL, and wants to write to anyone for concerts, letters, friendship, festivals. Fellow Steve worshippers welcome.

✸ 23 year old Pulpette Linzi [...], Gloucester, [...]. All she's got to say for herself is that she's obsessed with Jarvis which, lets face it, is nothing new 'round these parts.

✸ Mally [...], 17, looking for a nice sweet wholesome girl (?), to accompany him to Middlesbrough Arena on Fridays. Mally likes Pulp, Bluetones, Menswear etc. [...], Middlesbrough, [...].

✸ Jenny [...], 16, would really like an American penpal to write to about her favourite group. There must be someone out of the 53 or so out there - and if you're into Black Grape, Bjorky and Lush, all the better. Jenny lives at [...], Chester-le-Street, County Durham, [...].

✸ Adrian [...] is after a mid to (very very) late twenties view of life from Pulp People as old as he is... write to: [...], Cannock, Staffs, [...].

✸ Budding musician Simon [...] is still after a drummer for his fantastic fledgling band: "m/f, 16-20. Influences include The Velvet Underground, The Beatles, Pulp, Blur, Boo Radleys, Orange Juice, The Ramones. Write to Simon at [...], Cardiff, [...]."

Penpals

✸ Sarah [...] is 15 and wants to write to boys or girls 15 or over who "won't think she's strange for thinking Pulp are the best thing since powdered egg; wearing plastic jewellery and velvet coats; dreaming of being in a band, or quoting Withnail and I left, right and centre." If you can bring yourself to write, Sarah lives at [...], Long Whatton, Loughborough, [...].

✸ Helen, [...], Blackpool, [...] is 15 and wants to write to 15-18 year olds who like Garbage, Oasis, Dubstar, Lush, Elastica, Echobelly, REM, Terrorvision, Ocean Colour Scene etc. (All our fave bands too!) Hates 'teenybopper' music (?).

✸ Julia [...], Beverley, [...], is after "Any gorgeous lad age 12 and upwards, lasses too who feel that they would benefit from my intellectual talk. Must love life"

✸ "Jennie [...] would love to hear from anyone but especially boys, she will write to you whatever your age, she's totally into individuals who are completely barmy. PLEASE WRITE - she promises to write back straight away! You can reach her at: [...], Bulwell, Nottingham, [...]."

✸ Jennifer [...], Elkton, VA [...], USA., is looking for penpals - anyone and everyone, as long as they love Pulp, and if they look like Jarvis or Russell - even better! Monty Python, ABBA and Are You Being Served fans welcome. And guys who wear makeup - "yummy!" (apparently).

✸ Laura, [...], East Bridgford, Notts, [...], wants us to find her some exciting penpals with whom she can exchange verbose letters and disturbingly retentive thoughts; She's 16 and would like lots of erudite, witty and well dressed young men to write to her. She knows as well as we do that this is impossible, so says anyone will do. Apart from Pulp Laura likes Manics, Marion, Blur and Mark Radcliffe..

✸ Lovely Line [...], Heer, Norway wants some penpals but especially boys wearing eye makeup who look like Jarvis. (And lets face it he doesn't half slap it on sometimes.)

✸ Jody Foster, while taking a break from shooting her next blockbuster (sorry) wants a Pulp Person penpal who "Just loves Pulp and the song Live Bed Show." That's all. Amazingly, Jody reveals her address as [...], Bolton, [...].

✸ Jo [...] has a worrying fixation with Tim Booth (poor girl), Manics, Poo Radleys, Bleurgh, Suede, Radiohead and Sylvia Plath. Needs urgent counselling on these and many other subjects... Send help to: [...], London [...].

✸ Lastly, Amber is 15 and is looking to talk to males into 'Britpop' and old Punk. Preferably from England or Scotland. We don't know if this refers to the males or the music... Find out by writing to [...], CA [...], USA..

Wants

✸ J Hacker is after T.V. and radio broadcasts, she is willing to pay costs. Send your lists to [...], London SW16 [...].

✸ Paul [...] of [...], Leytonstone, London, El [...] is looking for pre-Lipgloss singles on CD... Those willing to part with their most cherished possessions for vast amounts of cash get in touch.

✸ Alice [...] lost a whole box of tapes on her travels and wonders if other Pulp people would send her copies of Pulp on the radio. She will happily pay for tape and postage. Write to [...], Huntingdon, Cambs, [...].

✸ Clover [...], S Glam., [...], is after early Pulp recordings - she's only got the later stuff and is keen to catch up. Write to Clover for a wants list.

✸ Leslie [...], LA [...], USA, is looking to purchase anything and everything Pulp related - especially videos and singles. She would also appreciate any letters from fellow American fans as she is writing a fanzine and will consider printing contributions on Pulp if you send them...

✸ Kevin [...] wants tapes of all the Euro remixes of all the recent Pulp singles. Write to [...], Hove, [...] for details...

✸ Nicola [...], Blackpool, [...] wants a copy of Pulp on TFI Friday. Will pay all costs.

✸ Sophie [...] Verdun, France wants copies of the Black Sessions from 17/11/92 and 15/3/94.

✸ Heike [...] is after old Pulp records and video clips. Lists to: [...] Dortmund, Germany.

✸ Just received Jerome[...]'s encyclopaedic list of Pulp concerts and interviews, which he's been collecting over the last few years. There will almost certainly be something on it you haven't got, so contact Jerome at [...] Thouron, France.

✸ Amber [...], (see Penpals for address) would like a copy of the Letterman show and any Pulp videos except Common People. Please bear in mind that US videos are not compatible with English VCR's.

✸ Katherine [...] is willing to swap a copy of Do You Remember... on cassette for a video of last year's Heineken Festival performance. Says that she can copy the video herself. Write to [...], Sheffield, [...].

✸ Clare [...], of [...], Mansfield, [...], is willing to do highly illegal copies of the Heineken Festival, just send her a C90.

Fanzines

✸ Daffodilesque : 50p from Vicky [...], Walsall [...]. Vicky sent us the summer edition of the 'zine - by the time you get this she'll probably be well into the Autumn / Winter '97 edition. It covers everything from 'Raid your parents' record collection' to a Pulp / Denim / Edwyn review at the Birmingham NEC to an interview with yours truly.

✸ Harry Pye's Frank Magazine: Already up to issue 12 and still going strong. Harry's diverse musical tastes cover Pulp, Tindersticks and, rather worryingly, Dr. Robert. Free and always good for a laugh - best feature so far has got to be the letter from Lord Igford himself. Cool. Get it from [...], London SE12 [...].

✸ If budget restrictions apply then get yourself a copy of Marky's Dark Satanic Mills Vol. 1 (70p inc. p+p) or, if you have no budget at all, then send for Marky's Anthem For Small Town Blues (15p). Between them these feature an interview with Jarvis from 1993, a bit on Nick Drake and some very tasty looking recipes. Created at Scunthorpe Jobclub, apparently, so we're all for it. Write to: [...], Scunthorpe [...].

✸ Issue 5 of Tournico...Pulp features the best photo ever of Steve and Russell, reviews of February's arena tour, a thrilling interview with myself and a questionnaire filled in by Candida. Tournico... Pulp 5 comes with free, dissertation length translation by the talented Margote. 15F for those living in France or 20FF if you don't, and you can get it from: [...] Boussay, France.

✸ A new addition is Spangle, £1 + A5 sae from Laura, [...], East Bridgford, Notts [...]. This features Marion, Manics, Blur, Jack, Mansun, Linoleum, and a translated interview with Jarvis from a French magazine. Laura doesn't say which magazine or when it's from, obviously keeping that one under her hat.

✸ Issue 2 of Jarvzine, £1 + A5 sae from Laura, [...], Wallasey, Wirral [...], is completely dedicated to Jarvis Cocker: Jarvis] dances, [[Jarvis jokes, Jarvis is innocent, and dressing up with Jarvis.

✸ Issue 1 of Corduroy and Crimplene (£1) has just arrived, hot off the press from Lucy [...], Grimsby [...]. Looks pretty good; Lucy wants to do a letters page in #2, so get writing. Gossip, book reviews, and a dress up Mark - I've got to tell you though Lucy, Mark doesn't look like that with no clothes on at all!!

✸ Issue 1 of Sorted! has just arrived, £1 + A5 sae from lovely Louise [...], Biddenham, Bedford, [...]. Let's see, what's it all about... Suede.. The Smiths.. .Done Lying Down... Pulp comic strip... Minty... and a review of Martin Aston's Pulp biography.

✸ Issue 2 of Mis-Prints comes from Mat, Steph, and Penny, [...], Ammanford, Carmarthenshire, [...]. These kids must have a posh graphics package and colour printer because the layout is very good - I think they tried out every single typeface! There's a rather unpleasant Oasis bit in the middle, but loads of Pulp facts and a great feature on Russell. Some worrying similarities with our own little newsletter but then they wouldn't be the first to rip us off...

Feeling Called Live...

Coming your way pretty soon (if it's not there already) is the second Pulp video, Feeling Called Live.

Unlike "Sorted for Films and Vids", this is a warts and all (if they had any warts, which they haven't) view of the Pulp on Tour Experience. Those of you who have seen the Mackey / Wallace production, "Carrera" will recognize the interesting-at-first-but-irritating-after-a-while-narrative style of Robert Hulse, who talks you through the 101 minute film.

The film opens in a dressing room with Pulp doing the vocal exercise devised by Tona de Brett, now a regular part of their warm up routine. See, this is what you miss back stage (now do you believe me when I say it's really not that exciting?). We are introduced to the individual members of the group which, together with a Pulp Fiction style dictionary definition of the word "Tour", lets us know what we're in for: (adopt strange voice)

"We travelled for over three months. By road, by air, by rail, and on foot. All in order to get to this one place. This is the story of that night, and the three months that preceded it. This is us, and you, together, for one night, in Brixton". How touching. The tour footage kicks straight into Do you Remember the First Time. The format of the film follows a strict pattern: a bit of live footage, followed by the "tour diary" of each member of the band, separated by more Brixton footage. The whole is narrated by Hulse, which is a shame - I mean it lends a certain uniformity to the whole thing but it would have been nicer to have the band members speaking.

After Do You Remember the first Time, the tour footage moves to Japan, followed by Monday Morning, Pencil Skirt, and I Spy. This is followed by Russell's musings about life on the road, his fear of flying, Scandinavia... and ends with Sorted, back in Brixton. Along comes Mark, who tells us about doing Live and Kicking, Trev & Simon, the Smash Hits Awards and the legendarily bad Paris concert: "I didn't know it then but the concert was going to turn out to be one of our worst of all time". Back to Brixton for Something Changed, then on to Japan with Mr Banks: "I'd already heard rumours about Japanese vending machines that sold schoolgirls knickers to dirty old men" (yes, and to fan club bosses - where are ours??) Nick trawls the amusement arcades and ends up glued to this great version of the scissors / paper / stone game whereby if you win, a sexy girl takes an item of clothing off. Only in Japan, eh readers?

Back in Brixton it's Live Bed Show, followed by Candida being beautiful as only she knows how, telling us about the nutritional nightmare that was Japan: "One night, all the others went out to a traditional Japanese restaurant, and ordered a delicacy called Fubu - this is a blowfish that contains a lethal poison, which means it can only be served by chefs with a special license... when the waiter brought the fish to the table it was still alive, twitching about on it's side in a basket of lettuce. As if this wasn't bad enough, when someone removed some of the salad from over the fish, it became apparent that the chunks of raw fish, already carved and displayed on another platter, were cut from the body of the blowfish whilst it was still alive. I know it's not that exciting, but even if I wasn't a vegetarian, I'd sooner survive on a diet of salad and chips than eat a poisonous fish that was still alive." Yeah! Japanese cuisine! Acrylic Afternoons! Steve! Steve tells us the strange tale of Ferdinand Cheval, the coolest French postman you could ever hope to meet. I won't tell you the story or it'll ruin the surprise. This takes us into Babies, Disco 2000, and Mis Shapes and the end of the first part of the set. Jarvis talks us through the break until the encore of F.E.E.L.I.N.G.C.A.L.L.E.D.L.O.V.E. and Underwear, to the climactic frenzy that is Common People.

"And that was it. It wasn't just my imagination. It really did happen." Moans Robert. Overall, this is an interesting film - it makes a change from the usual. We thought it would have been better if the live footage had been taken from different concerts throughout the tour, rather than just Brixton, but that is a minor complaint. The group look great on it, you get to see the world without moving from your armchair, and it proves, yet again, that there's more to Pulp than their songs. Couldn't see Oasis putting something like this together, it'd end up being a catalogue of V signs and pathetic arguments. That'd be really entertaining viewing, wouldn't it. Oh yeah, and the cover is just great.

Planned release dates:
August 25: Japan
September 2: Austria, Czech Republic, Finland, Germany, Italy, Portugal, Spain, and Thailand.
October 17: Benelux Countries
October 28: UK, Australia
November: France

Feeling Called Live. RT 101 mins VHS Pal stereo, Island Records Ltd.

Whilst we're on the subject of videos, we got a right strange thing the other day - perhaps some of you French
Pulp People can shed some light on it? It's produced by Island and appears to be called "1995-1996 PULP: L'integrale des clips de Different Class". And as you can see, features the videos of the singles released from the album. There's no other information with it; the videos play in black & white over here - the cover looks a bit dodgy to say the least - the figures have been cut out and repositioned quite badly and the colour isn't very nice either.

- - - -

This is where you can help us - or Jane Turner, anyway. Jane's researching a book about Jarvis and is looking for contributors. We've agreed to help her out by putting this advert in the newsletter, but remember that this is very much in the early stages and nothing concrete has been finalised. Over to you, Jane:

"The book will be an anthology of essays, poems, photographs and drawings - a kind of biography, but one which will tell you next to nothing new about the man himself but, hopefully a great deal about the people whose lives and psyches he has touched.

I'm interested in hearing from anyone who has dreamt about Jarvis. Write down your dreams as you remember them, or, if it seems more appropriate, you could portray the images or feelings in visual form. Send me your writing but don't send me original artwork yet - please send photocopies or photographs.

I would also like to hear from anyone who has had a significant meeting with the man. What did he say? How did you feel? This project can be great. I can't make any promises at this stage, but with your help I will also be able to interest a publisher and find more contributors. Please send submissions to: Jane Turner, [...], Milton Keynes, [...]."

So there you go. It seems to me that if such a book was written about someone like, say, Michael Jackson, there would be an outcry - the idea of people clinging on to his every word, the way he affects people's lives to such a great extent. Remember, it's only Jarvis, he's just an ordinary guy - you criticise Michael Jackson like mad for portraying himself as some God-like figure, then you go and build Jarvis up in exactly the same way. Double standards, that's what you lot have got. Double standards.

V96

OK, I'm going to be completely honest with you - we went to both Chelmsford and Warrington in the end, but can we remember anything about either day? The answer is a quite definite "No". I'm sure the same applies to most of you lot, but we feel duty bound to give Pulp People who could not attend at least a vague idea of what it was like. The highlight for us was the Denim set - Lawrence just blew us away, completely. It's so sad that he's doomed to a life in the sidelines (if that), I mean people go on about how it took Pulp 16 years to get noticed, well it's taking Lawrence almost as long, and it's just as unfair, if not more so, because he's hardly made a dodgy record at all whereas let's face it, Pulp have. We can't review every band because a) we were flat on our backs in the dance tent for most of them and b) (I'm trying here, honestly, I'm trying) what we could hear wasn't really to our liking. We did venture forth for the fantastic Jonathan Richman and Springheel Jack but that was about it - Pluto, if it was Pluto, were interesting, but Gary Numan, please! We were really looking forward to seeing him too, but I think he tested even the most ardent fan. Pulp didn't, they were great, though the one and a half hour set was the same for both days which seemed a bit unimaginative:

Mis Shapes / Do You Remember the First Time / Monday Morning / I Spy / Mile End / Live Bed Show / Something Changed / Help The Aged / Sorted for E's and Wizz / Pencil Skirt / F.E.E.L.I.N.G.C.A.L.L.E.D.L.O.V.E. / Underwear / Common People, with an encore of Disco 2000 and Babies. And I know you all know this from the reviews, but, standing at the side watching 30,000+ people singing along to Common People, with the fireworks lighting up the sky and lights swooping over the crowd like a search light - it was a pretty amazing sight.

When we got to Warrington it was a boiling hot day and there was free Bud back stage. Just as well, because the conditions front of stage were pretty grim. All I can say is that I'm glad I wasn't out there, you couldn't move, and we've had a several tales of people getting squashed at the front. I guess the site was just too small, but the Promoters should have known how many people were going to turn up - I mean, did you smell the loos at the end of the day? Fucking disgusting.

The event seems to have been a great success anyway, and that was all down to you lot - so thanks. And yes, Jarvis really did go out at Chelmsford dressed up in a gorilla suit, which is funny at first, but ridiculous when you think the only way the poor guy can mingle is in disguise. At least it didn't rain. Same time next year then?

Pulp Boutique

Here's the latest lot of Pulp goodies on offer, hope you like my fantastic illustrations. We've got some of the last lot left - Disco Disco (£14), Disco 2000 (£14), Pulp logo (£15), Polo Shirts (£18), and pants (£5). P+P is free in the UK but add £3, $5, or 22FF for everywhere else. Please list a 2nd choice. God! This is complicated.

STOP PRESS! ALL THE BITS WE COULDN'T FIT IN:

Nick's done a Peggy Mitchell and bought The Washington - for those of you who don't know, this is a top Sheffield dive pub. Your new landlord takes over in mid October.

Passport photos! We've received a fair few, but not nearly enough to do anything with, it might end up being the front and back pages on a newsletter, we still don't know, but it's dead good receiving them so please don't stop sending them in. We're thinking of making it a prerequisite to joining and renewing.

October 7 - Radio 1 to broadcast the V96 Cheimsford performance

November 17 - Steve & Nick compete in the Stars Cup Charity Football match, to be held at Leyton Orient Footie Ground. A "musicians v. comedians v. actors" scenario is envisaged, we don't know who else is playing yet.

We'd like to thank everyone who sent in pictures - we've got a massive pile now, enough to keep us going for the next ten newsletters, but still too many of Jarvis. Keep 'em coming, but no Cockers please.

Again, no present; volume two of the scrapbook is much nearer completion since the last newsletter but we're having to make sure we've got absolutely everything post His n Hers - as I said it really is going to be an enormous thing - well worth the wait, I promise.

Big kisses to Pru & Glen for all their help, can't thank you enough. Please note - our postcode has changed YET AGAIN

New section, the Pulp People gig guide! Here's our countrywide guide for the next few months. (As you can see, we don't get out much)

• November 14 - Electric Sound of Joy + support, Preston Adelphi. And that completes the gig guide.

© Pulp People 1996 PO Box 87,SHEFFIELD, S11 8WJ