Jarvis is talking about a dream he had where he came out of a tube station and there were big metal daffodils piping out ambient Chinese music. He can remember thinking "I wish Mark was here now 'cos he would really like it" !

Ah, well there are no plans for this at the moment, but it's quite likely that it will be released some time in the future. Meanwhile, a Russian television station are planning to broadcast the film with Russian subtitles !

Any self-respecting Pulp Person should know that the moon revolves around the earth at a mean distance of 384,400 kilometres. Ask me a difficult one.

There are hundreds, and most of them never made it out of the rehearsal room for various reasons. Some of the better ones were Didn't Feel A Thing, I've Got A Dream For You, Snow, A Day In The Life Of... and Breaking Down The Front Door, which all date from 1984-86. Many of these songs were not recorded in any form so it's impossible for anyone to hear them.

Well, Russell and Steve only compete occasionally, Steve copies the numbers from whoever's standing next to him, whilst Russell uses "a very long and involved system that is not very interesting". Nick's a betting man and he takes part every week - he recommends clusters of up to three consecutive numbers and always uses 23. (Nick's the only member of the group to have won anything and that was only ten pounds.) Jarvis and Candida try to enter every week. Candida chooses numbers at random but likes those in their 40's. Jarvis now uses a special lottery keyring to choose his numbers to take the responsibility off himself. He thinks it's best to use it to select the numbers just before buying a ticket on Saturday so that the keyring is subject to similar atmospheric conditions as the real lottery machine.

Oh yes, Mr Kurley is the ex-lead singer of a drummerless Sheffield 3-piece band from the 80's. The group was called New Model Soldier and had a song called "Anorexic Beauty", whose lyrics Russell bought from their author for one pound. David Kurley went to school with Candida before forming NMS with Paul Fern and Migsy. The band's only release before splitting up onstage was "Dance The Death Of A Thousand Cuts" on Bunny Rabbit Catch The Man Records. Russ remembers that David appeared onstage in a black capped sleeve t-shirt that had a set in diagonal chiffon stripe through which you could see his pock marked body. He worked in a pub with Nick before becoming a Butlins redcoat.

The Doc says, whilst recording the acoustic guitar track, Jarvis' headphone level was too loud, and he was asking for it to be turned down. The "Dog lying in the corner" bit is Jarvis wittering on as only he can, while the levels were corrected. The group thought it sounded good anyway and kept it.

Yes and no Steve, it is Jarvis' photograph but he didn't take it - he found it, and passed it on to Bob (Stanley). It isn't Kelvin Flats, but it's a nice idea.

These days Jarvis' clothes may look like they're from Help the Aged but infact he has become a charity case himself, regulary receiving donations and food parcels from Katherine Hamnett. "Designer labels are the new charity shops". Yeah, right.

Yes it is Lucy, she's certainly come along way since the heady days of "Just Say No"

It's David's Last Summer, Paul, but Nick doesnt actually play it saxaphone style as you might have imagined, but merely taps the casing. He had planned to let it off in the studio but health & safety regulations prevented him from doing so.

Mark was the only member of Pulp around when I put this question to him, and he confessed that he is very attached to his "collection of misprinted postcards". Thought it might be, Mark.

Well, Emma, far be it from me to decide the course your life should take, but my advice to you is, go and get on a proper film course and stop mucking about with the media shit.

Smoking is not a habit I would recommend to Pulp People but the band lead stressful lives so I suppose I'll make an exception in their case. Jarvis and Steve both smoke Silk Cut, whilst Russell prefers Silk Cut Ultra Low to the usual full strength variety.

After listening to the track, I can honestly say I don't know. We asked Mark if he could shed any light on the matter: "Jarvis wanted to make Candida giggle and took her behind a screen in the studio, as soon as you could say PTA Candida was giggling uncontrollably! Yet, to this day, nobody knows what went on behind that screen."

That particular unfortunate young man is the singer in the ill-fated 'Romo' outfit Orlando.

We consulted Mark on this matter, whose response was as follows: "I dont know, but she's gorgeous and I'd love to meet her". We here at the surgery have an idea that she may have won a modelling competition... but we might be lying.

Mark gets his nail varnish from Kensington Market, but since his recent rise to fame he is regulary given a variety of different beauty products by fans. Jarvis' favourite aftershave is 'Gucci' whilst Candi­da's favourite perfume is the more affordable 'Mango' by the body shop. And while we're compiling those Christmas present lists, Mark's favourite perfume is 'Givenchy', Steve's is 'Old Spice', Nick's is the subtle fragrance of 'Imperial Leather" and Russell, always the classiest by far, opts for 'Essence of Woodruff' whatever that is...

Regularly namechecked on the back of Pulp albums, Miss Julie Jones is a personal friend of Jarvis and has been defined as "Pulp stylist and inspiration".

Claire obviously hasn't bothered to read the sleevenotes because if she had she would know that girlie backing vocals were provided by Jill Taylor, Saskia Cocker, Joanne, Julie and Alison.

We've all heard tell of Jarvis' legendary broken toe incident, but the less glamourous truth is that, whilst walking around his flat barefoot a piece of wood fell from behind the washing machine as a result of the vibrations. It completely bent back his little toe but the painful pinkie was not broken at all, merely badly bruised.

Yes Mark, you are absolutely right, and Anne was also conducting the 90-piece orchestra at the Brit awards.

I questioned each member of the band personally on this one and this was their reply: Russell - Vanessa Mae CD (although this is vehe­mently denied); Nick -1966 World Cup football squad signed football; Candida - Two expensive silk rugs; Mark - Collection of mis-printed or mis-cut postcards; Jarvis - Protime wristwatch which incorporates cigarette lighter; Steve refused to answer because he'd just got out of bed and "Didn't want to think about it".

Amazingly enough Samantha, this is all true except for the 'Darkness' cover - though they did play "Stepping Stone" which ended prema­turely when the drummer forgot there was a pause in the middle and thought it was the end of the song. The concert took place on the 18th of August 1980 and also on the bill were Artery, Scarborough Antelopes, and the Flying Alfonso Brothers. Brilliant.

The mouth in question is none other than Jarvis Cocker in townie guise.

We did not have a tape measure handy, but we estimate his thumb to be approximately 3 inches and middle finger approximately 4 inches.

In a first for Pulp People, Dr Pulp refused to reply, muttering only that the question "Was not approved by the doctor".

We were only able to get hold of Russell and Mark, Mark's top LP was Cast's 'All Change', single was 'Get Wild' by The New Power Generation. Russell chose the first Bluetones single, the title of which evaded him, but which he managed to hum very tunefully down the phone. Equally vague about an album, he plumped for "The Radio-head one, I've never heard it but I'm told it's very good". Just for the record, as if anyone's going to be interested, top of the pulp people pops is (by miles) the new Yoko Ono album, along with Denim on Ice, How Deep is Your Love? by the late Take That, and everything ever by Edwyn.

Right Lisa, the missing lyric is 'I was too scared to touch the girls at the Poly'. Now you can sing along to the whole song.

Mark's childhood hero was, as if it isn't obvious, Kevin Keegan; Candida opts for the abstract: "Villains were my heroes". The same, goes for cartoon
characters.

Candida goes for the traditional Darwinian theory whereas Mark, with the usual optimism, says "I have none, I worry about how it will end."

Mark is a big fan, he loves them. He reckons the best LP is "Let it be"; As for Candida, her reply was "Alot - All positive."

This photograph was taken in a cafe in Sheffield, no-one remembers where exactly.

Candida favours 59 Lyndhurst Grove, I Spy and Common People. Webbo sensibly opts for mid-period Pulp, before he joined, with My Legendary Girlfriend.

Jarvo gave this a considerable amount of thought before giving us his answer: "None".

According to the Pulp Pub Watch, the pubs are: The Beeches, The Stag, and The Kings Head.

Right then in order to re-create these memorable scenes you would have to travel to: Regents Park (Candida); Scarborough Beach (Russell); North Yorkshire Moors (Steve); Thirsk Town Centre, and a chip shop in Scarbor­ough (Jarvis); A Bus Stop next to St Pauls Cathedral (Nick); Lastly, and somewhat appropriately we feel, Webbo was snapped in a Tesco's car park.

Candida has, and she found Morrissey "Strong, and yet shy at the same time." Mark on the other hand hasn't and has no wish to either.

We interviewed each member of the group individually on this important matter, and their replies were as follows:
Jarvis : "Are you joking?"
Nick : "Alcohol, late nights and Polyfilla."
Steve : "Fruit, vegetables, water, exercise, Clinique Factor 2^1/2 Face Scrub and Turnaround Lotion."
Russell and Candida mysteriously share the same secret: Blood of young virgins - Male or Female, they don't care. Names and addresses to the usual place...
For some peculiar reason Mr. Webster declined to comment on this question.

Well Hayley, unfortunately for you, the lovely boy is married - Pat and Jo Skinny are a husband and wife team and good friends of Pulp. That's all we
know.

When asked to sing his favourite line from his favourite Pulp song, Mark happily, if not altogether convincingly, trilled "Pitsmoor woman, Oh let me in tonight", from My Legendary Girlfriend. Nick's is from Sheffield Sex City, but I couldn't work out which line it was - let's just say the whole lot, it'd be hard to pick just one. Russell went for "Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah", from Babies (no I'm not making this up). In the unlikely event of Pulp being awarded OBE's, Candida, Mark and Nick said they would of course accept. Russell too, but "only to please the relatives". As for who is the Ringo of the band, and why? Nick provided the answer: "I'd say Russell - well Ringo's famous for being the fourth best drummer in The Beatles isn't he, and as most people in Pulp are better guitar players than Russell, there's your answer". Err, thanks for that insight, Nick. Candida's reply was more sensible: "Nick, 'cos he's the drummer". When asked who influenced the group the most, Nick says that the band that most influenced Pulp was the Sex Pistols (much more convincing than Russell's "Judge Dredd"), Candida said the Manics but I think it was a Doyle jape. As for the scariest item of underwear ever thrown onstage, Nick reckoned, "a pair of glasses". Russell said, "Men's Y-Fronts". Candida, understandably, said, "a 36DD bra". When asked, "Do you want to be bigger than Jesus?", Nick replied Does anyone know how tall he was?".

Mark spends (lots of) money; Nick walks his dog, Malcolm. Russell's "never mastered the art of relaxing, and all Candida needs is "a sunny day, a good film, and tea"

Mark speaks for the whole group if not the whole world in saying that he doesn't actually think about Romo. Ever. Nick on the other hand rightly supposes: "It's an old washing powder with an 'R' on the front, isn't it?" Russell finds it "of no great cultural significance".

Nick's reply was the Drury Lane 'do' in December '94; Mark's was at the Halifax Leisure Centre in 19[91], Russell's was the Heineken festival performance in 1995, and Candida's was the recent Shetland Islands date.

Nick enthused about 'Rocket From The Crypt' and 'Super Furry Animals'; Mark is pretty keen on 'Tiger' and 'Broadcast'. We're sticking with Soulbossa, Baby Birkin and the Electric Sound Of Joy.

We couldn't get a definitive answer on this one, but Mark reckons it's about a dream that Jarvis had once - further details are sketchy but this dream featured Mark and, we think, a Chinese Takeaway... (?)

Nick's chilling to Miles Davis, whilst Mark is checking out early Japan and Gary Numan. And in case you're interested, we never take Scott 4 or The Relaxing Sound Of Bert Kaempfert" off the Pulp Towers turntable. Russell's into "early ska by unknown bands". Not giving much away there, Russell. Candida just can't stop playing the last Beck Ip.

Mark seemed to be under the impression that all three bands were made up of the same group of people, even though he only actually saw Funkstrasse - "quite good, very into their dancing." Nick could only suggest that the Icelandic air and beer seemed to affect people in a very strange way. Russell: "Great names, can't comment on the music as I didn't see them".

Mark refuses point blank to watch any GW film, especially those featuring Richard Pryor. Nick thinks he's alright, "nice frizzy hair", 'Stir Crazy' and 'Charlie And The Chocolate Factory' were nominated as being particulary popular in the Banks household. Candida's favourite GW film is "Silver Streak". Russell, never one to beat about the bush, said: "I think Gene Wilder adds nothing to the happiness of mankind and has no right to exist". Well Harry, we did warn you!

OK, here goes. Food - Mark: warm goat's cheese salad; Nick: Sunday Dinner; Russell: Black Chicken, Garfish, giant puffballs, or traditional goose; Candida: Carrot & coriander soup. Band - Mark: Velvet Underground; Nick: Burt Bacharach; Russell: Early Stones; Candida: Black Grape. Item of Clothing -Mark: Brown cords; Nick: His new black jeans, which are quite fluffy; Russell: His new suit, hand made in Sheffield; Candida: A new cardigan from Miss Selfridge. Thing to do on a day off - Mark: Take a boat trip; Nick - Walk Malcolm; Russell: Collect fungi; Candida: "Nothing".

Mark's fave flick is by that well known director of wholesome family films, Roman Polanski, ' The Tenant' (1976); Nick's choice is 'Midnight Cowboy' (John Schlesinger, 1969), closely followed by 'Quatermass and the Pit' (Roy Ward Baker, 1967), "very frightening indeed." Russell's pretty keen on Fellini's 'La Dolce Vita' (1960) - we wouldn't recommend this to anyone under 18, as it's very rude indeed! Much more suitable is The Wizard of Oz' (Victor Fleming, 1939), which is Candida's fave.

At last we have the answers: Nick, Steve and Jarvis are all Wednesday fans, whilst Candida and Russell support Sheffield United; Mark is neutral, although Nick assures us that Mark, Candida and Russell "Wouldn't know a football if it slapped them in the face."

We didn't actually witness this ourselves but we are assured that the pair were Pete Mansell and Danny Doyle (Candida's boyfriend and brother, respectively). Danny's band, Chin, supported Pulp in the Shetlands.

Mark responded with "Surprisingly coherant - I was impressed that they bumbled their way as far as they did." Nick - "Very, very good. But also disappointing that they didn't make it to the final." Apparently their footballing prowess made Russell "proud to be English". Even Candida was "very impressed".

"They genuinely like it", is the official response from Senior Mansions.

Well that's a terrifying prospect, Margote. and such a thing would certainly put Cocker's measly wax model in the shade - but let's find out what really happened. Mark "I didn 't recognise her at first and had to ask Jarvis if it was really her, I was amazed - she looked really young and not at all how she looks in her film "W.R - The Mistress of the Organism". Anyway, because she's done so many things with people I like & admire, we got talking. The subject of a cast did come up (so to speak) and Cynthia playfully suggested that it would be much rarer than one of Jarvis, but despite this, it's not going to happen - I'm far too shy."An interesting fact emerged from this conversation, which was, when Cynthia P. came over to London last year to do some readings from her diaries at the Disobey Club, it was hoped that Pulp would be improvising some music on stage as she read. Sadly this was not to be as they were too busy recording Different Class. Shame.

Russell always enjoys a few hours in the Victoria & Albert Museum when in London; Candida likes visiting churches and remembers a particularly lovely one in St Etienne - she can't remember it's name though!; Nick's favourite spot is The Cliffs of Moher, which can be found half way down the west coast of Ireland; Mark is happiest in The Anthology Film Archive on the corner of 2nd Street and 2nd Avenue, New York City. He also suggested that the dresses worn by the Disco 2000 girls were probably their own, or, if not, they might have been supplied by the Pulp stylist the legendary Miss Julie Jones, DD.

Could only bring myself to ask Nick this one, and his reply was, yes, of course - being a drummer Nick obviously has very well developed hands and er, feet.

Both Nick and Mark have no desire whatsoever to see the film, and therefore cannot comment Candida hasn't seen it either but "hopes it's good for her [Madonna's] sake". Russe has "no idea". Perhaps I should point out to our Argentinian friend that the film doesn 't open in the UK until January...

Nick "No"; Mark couldn't speak for laughing, Russell said "Dream on ", and Candida, despite loving the accent had to say "No Way" too.

Gary Oldman first - Mark thinks he's ok, but particularly bad in "Track 29", Candida's response was "Oh - he's an actor!", Russell wasn't far behind with "Is he in 2 point 4 Children?" Oh dear. When he realised who it was we were talking about he recalled his performance as Joe Orton in Prick Up Your Ears, and said that was quite good. Nick feels he's "a reasonable actor - not too bad". As for The Young Ones, well we all agree that it was funny at the time but has dated very badly indeed, helped by far too many student imitations. Mark is unable to relate to it at all due to his non -studenty - upbringing. Candida had a massive crush on Rik MayaE..Russell likes Young Ones, but "only if they 're over 16" Ha ha.

Nick: Diane / Begbie; Mark: Diane / Spud; Candida: Diane; Russell hasn 't seen it but went on to describe his favourite character nevertheless, I couldn't make head nor tail of it other than it's "an incidental character who has nothing to do either drugs or crime".

Don't know if any of it actually makes him blush, but he's always quite secretive when it comes to his mail and never shows anyone else. He is continually sur­prised by "the number of middle aged women who write" (not our words), and more than a little disturbed by some of the things the pre-teens come up with (he's not the only one).

Mark's not the biggest Abba fan in the world but reckons Lay All Your Love on Me is pretty good; Nick rates himself as "fair to middling" on the fanometer, and names Fernando as his favourite tune. Candida isn 't a big fan either but oddly enough chose the same song as Mark - Lay All Your Love on Me. Russell likes Dancing Queen, but dismisses Abba as being nothing more than "amusing kitsch " - well I don't know about that!

Candida likes the "When We Were Very Young" poems by AA. Milne; Mark's favourite poem is "Waking to hear from You", by Gerard Malanga - it's the only poem he's "ever sent to a girl". Nick's is by John Betjeman but he couldn 't remember the title - "Something about Bendy Wendy", which sounds quite likely. Russell's favourite is "The Raven", by Edgar Allen Poe

The identity of the yellow paperback is likely to remain a mystery, because I sure can't read it and couldn't get hold of Steve to solve the mystery. If anyone knows, please tell us!

Russell and Mark passed first time (typical), whilst it took Nick three goes - but he wanted to point out that he didn 't have any lessons until he'd already failed twice, then his Mum agreed that it might be a good idea if he did. Candida has never even attempted to learn - "too scared". Blimey!.

Nick hasn 't had any regrets, which must be a great feeling; Candida, in a rare show of evil said that "not hiring a hit man to knock off Clive Soloman" will always be her greatest regret. Let's hope the opportunity soon presents itself! Mark's only regret so far is that he hasn't made his solo album. I'm sure you will in time, Mark. Russell's reply was very quick - "joining this group" - I'm sure he was just joshing though.

Candida's reply, after going through a few recent compilations, was Peter Andre. Interestingly enough both Nick and Mark immediately said Kula Shaker. Nick "Firstly, because they're toss, and also there's just something about singer Crispian 's name. Not to mention the Indian mysticism." Mark just doesn't think they've got anything going for them whatsoever. Russell came up with The Lightning Seeds (good choice), then went off into a world of his own and I was only able to catch a few mumbled words "insincere...affecting a style, shoddy merchandise-spurious, vacuous pop - who likes it anyway??. Couldn't agree more, Russell.

Sorry to disappoint you Claire but it cer­tainly isn't Jarvis! The only things they have in common are their maleness and their thinness, but that's all

Jarvis is on holiday as the newsletter goes to press but Mark reckoned a fair bet is The Hand Reared Boy, by (we think) JG Ballard. Not appropriate reading matter for a 12 year old, anyway.

Everyone agrees - of course it's frustrating when you don't get recognised for what you do - but at the same time there are very few people who could live with the pressure and attention that Jarvis has had to cope with over the last 18 months, so for that, it's better to be in the background.

We'd never heard of this at Pulp HQ but everyone else seemed familiar with it; Steve's even got the record! Both Mark & Nick remembered it as being "grunge", and were reminded of a cover of Common People by a Sheffield goth band called Libertine, who adapted the lyrics to make them more gothic - the best line being "I took her to the goblin market". Fantastic! Incidentally there has been a worrying incidence of buskers doing Pulp songs around Sheffield - mostly bloody awful! [The cover was by a band called Bowlfish and released on Domino records in 1994 - covers page]

All of Pulp are big charity shop fans; Nick, Russell and Candida don't mind being spotted in them at all Mark goes so far to say that he is "proud to be seen in them", and it has even been suggested that Pulp's rise to fame has resulted in big price rises at your local Oxfam, a valid point indeed. Of course Jarvis gets free gear from top designers these days and would probably get mobbed if he set foot in one, so frankly I don't blame him for not doing so.

(Laughs) - "Really don't think I did". He was unsure of the origin of a blue knitted cardi with toggles that he used to favour - probably his Dad's (which is just as worrying - toggles??).

Mark thinks, not only are they a load of rubbish, but "sick rubbish", too! Candida agrees, although she thought they were ok to begin with; Steve really dislikes them, and considers them to "represent everything that is bad about eighties pop" - as if they're in a bit of a timewarp. Nick didn't beat about the bush either: "they're a load of old tosh, yes"; Jarvis gave his answer considerable thought before responding that he didn't mind them until they came out with all that Margaret Thatcher stuff; his main point though was that "everyone goes on about them being great role models for young girls, but that's rubbish, because they still get their tits out and I bet they're managed by a man too " - don't know about that but it wouldn't surprise us...

Jarvis was a little surprised, it's true, but the young Banks wasn't actually named after The King of Pop - but to put your mind at rest Jarvis assured me that he "didn't invade it's cot or anything". I should hope not!

There was a general consensus that Iceland was the greatest, closely followed by America ("The land of your dreams", according to Mark), and Japan (Nick), because it's just "a crazy place". Jarvis' reason for giving Iceland was because of all the outdoor pursuits Pulp were able to do whilst there - white water rafting and so on; Steve loved the open spaces... Candida didn't bother with the white water rafting, prefering a cup of cocoa back at the hotel (don't blame you Candida!), but she did enjoy a more sedate bus tour...

Pulp assure me that they have absolutely no idea what or who TV2 are, and suggest that Mormand consult "a different Doctor".

This question received very blunt answers indeed from Pulp: Mark says it's "impossible", Candida reckons such a theory is "stupid", and nobody else thought it was even worth considering! Sorry Janna!

Good question Cecile, with very predictable (but excellent nevertheless) answers: Mark's only a Serge Gainsbourg fan, nothing else really interests him; Candida likes Vanessa Paradis, whose singing she prefers to Brigitte Bardot 's; Steve likes Serge, Jacques Brel, and Francoise Hardy. Nick prefers BB and The Singing Nun, and called Serge "an overrated big nosed get" (So I killed him). Couldn't get hold of Jarvis for this question but we're certain he'd go along with all of the above, as do we here at Pulp HQ - but what about lovely Michel Polnareff? Sacha Distel??

The truth might be a little hard to accept, but Jarvis admits that he does find it hard to remember what it was like, and that yes, success has certainly changed him. Candida's memories of what it used to be like are all too vivid - every time she revisits Sheffield! As for The Little Prince, nobody has read it, but Candida would like to - Steve responded by saying "Mark is a little ponce", which I'm taking as a no.

As I'm sure you agree, it's very hard to pick a favourite Beatles song, but they did their best: Mark's faves are Girl, I Me Mine, and The Long and Winding Road, but conceded that "generally, all are good"; Nick likes Blackbird and Getting Better, Candida agrees with Long and Winding Road, but also likes Flying; Steve's top tune is Happiness is a Warm Gun, whilst Jarvis likes I'm so Tired and Hey Bulldog.

Truth is, they do get paid, but no one seems to know how much! I guess money loses it's significance when you have so much of it... I wonder if they get payed when Woolies play their songs - today, it was a very tinny "Sorted" that was wafting through the Star Wars merchandise...

Very good question Andy, and one which Steve actually answered: That video was filmed in the Sunset Strip Club, in Soho, one of the few proper strip joints left (so I'm told); the "rope" in question is a - what's the word I'm looking for? - a "prop", for the dancing girls - as Steve explained, it's for them to "frolic with" on stage. Jarvis assures me they had it washed before they went near it! I bet you're all off to check out the video now aren't you...

Firstly, the book - we're not sure about this, it was four years ago after all; the only book Jarvis remembers from the video shoot is "How To Live In Style", an interior design & all round lifestyle book, but he wasn 't sure if that was the one. As for Louise's Blue Peter query, Steve, Candida, Nick and Mark would all decline, agreeing that it's just not the programme it used to be; however Jarvis, who admitted to having a bit of a crush on several female Blue Peter presenters (including, I might add, Anthea Turner...) still rates it and thought that "Acrylic Afternoons" would be a suitable choice. Now that would be some­thing...

Good question, Amber. Nick's resolution was to take more exercise, which he's sort of keeping to; Candida's was to only have one sugar in her tea, as opposed to two; so far she has been successful in keeping to this, "unless I'm very tired"; Mark bravely resolved to visit the dentist, not having been for four years, and was seriously regretting it when Doctor Pulp questioned him - so well done for sticking to your resolution Mark, and honestly, they look so real, you can't tell the difference. Steve's resolution was to learn to drive - and by the time you read this we will know whether he passed or failed his test.* Jarvis decided that, rather than giving something up, as is usual in these situations, he would endeavour to do something he'd never done before, so last week he tried horseriding. Next on his list is to ride a motorbike - we just hope he remembers that a motorbike is not the same as a horse, in fact, the prospect of Cocker in charge of such a machine is quite frightening.

* He Passed!

Let's take this one step at a time: When asked if they have a favourite porn star, Nick admitted that he had enjoyed the recent showing of The Mary Millington Story on C4, but only because "She's a nutter"; Jarvis thought for a while and came up with Sylvia Krystel; Mark announced that he's "never seen one". Responses to this ludicrous statement included "That is a 100% lie!" (Candida) and "What a liar!" (Steve), "Lying get" (Nick). Webber's feeble defence was that the films in question are "Art", not "Porn"; well sorry Mark but that is the biggest lie I have ever heard in my entire life, and you are not getting away with it! Everyone was so amazed at Mark's barefaced cheek that they (cunningly) avoided answering most of the remaining questions themselves... I did manage to pin them down and ask them the last one though. Candida wouldn't want to appear in one at all; Mark would, but "only in a dream"; Steve couldn't decide; Nick said yes but only if a) He was shot from the neck up only, b) Only if his dog Malcolm could appear and c) If body doubles were used. Not taking any chances there then, Nick. Jarvis was sure that, if he did, "it would be the end of our careers" (I'm not so sure myself), but, when pressed, confessed that he would like to "perform" with Sarah Stockridge - for anyone who doesn't know, Sarah is Vivian Westwood's 6 foot tall blonde "muse" and favourite model. Is that alright for you Javier?

Although it is a lovely image, sadly Candida does not scuba dive, though she "sometimes swims"; Steve swims once a week (and bathes daily), Mark admits that as he "can barely swim, the answer would have to be 'no'; Nick "used to go fishing quite a lot in my youth - 1980 school champion in fact!". Jarvis likes "boating and golden showers". JARVIS!!

Candida is very firm about this: "I'd never strip naked for money. I have a friend who used to strip and it got her into quite a mess. Being famous only affects my answer because it's the only reason I'd be paid to strip"; Steve, however, can't wait - he'd be up for it, famous or not. Nick thinks it's "a hideous thought, but probably yes, but it would have to be a hell of a lot of money"; Jarvis went all coy: "I'd go topless but only in the right light; being famous affects my answer 'cos it would put me off - too many people taking notice". Mark is mysterious: "Certain people will find that they don't have to pay to get me naked..."

"It came from living on a housing estate. I never lived in Kelvin tho'. It's been pulled down now. The soil story is true - it was a boy who cracked up after being glassed in a nite club. He was eventually arrested for stealing and eating a pirana from the botantical garden's aquarium". NO WAY!

Jarvis: "I can't act for toffee, I would find it very hard to be romantic - it's hard enough in real life. If the leading lady was nice I s'pose it might influence me". Nick backs up this statement by saying, "Have you ever seen Jarvis act??!?". That's a bit harsh - who could forget The Great Cockrini?

Very difficult to name favourites, I'm sure, but the answers are as follows: For films made before 1960, Jarvis likes Rita Hayworth, Veronica Lake, and Robert Mitchum; Steve's fave is super cool Jean Paul Belmondo; Candida just loves James Stewart, Marlon Brando, and Dirk Bogarde, though these qualify for both catagories so that's a bit of a cheat; Nick's into Orson Welles and Katharine Hepburn, while Mark isn't really into any pre 1960's films (though if Andy Warhol had made anything then, he'd love it). As for after 1960, Jarvis goes for Senta Berger, Richard Burton, and Christopher Walken; Steve likes Malcolm McDowell, Nick likes Dustin Hoffman and Brigitte Bardot (like she's a really good actress, Nick!), and Mark will watch anything with Isabelle Adjani, Harry Dean Stanton (yeah!), Jack Smith, Holly Woodlawn, Sissy Spacek (in Badlands), and Roman Polanski. Hope that answers your questions, Claire!

Nick's top Beatle is Ringo ("of course!"); Mark, after weighing up the pro's and con's, decides on George; Candida loves Paul and John, Steve's fave is John too, while Jarvis likes Pete Best (typical!).

Candida goes for Star Bars, Jarvis prefers Raspberry Ruffle Bars; Nick's a Hazlenut Galaxy man; Mark likes a bit of Caramel but isn't "eating much chocolate these days due to the toll the ageing process is taking on my figure". Steve's the same, he doesn't eat confectionary full stop.

Cast first: Candida rates them: "Brilliant musicians, not bad music"; Steve liked the first album, Jarvis likes the slowies, Mark proudly boasts that "in the face of adversity (think he means me) I really like Cast and I'm not afraid of it"; Nick knows: "Again, nice blokes, nice music but could it be a bit more interesting please ? 5/10" (Could it be a bit less crap, please - Music Ed). As for Suede, Nick's "not bothered these days, 4/10"; Mark finds them "consistently enjoyable"; Candida's liked them in the past and still does a bit, but finds them "a bit too pretentious" now; Jarvis liked the first album and the singles, and Steve thought they were "very good in the Butler days".

"Doubt it!", replies Candida. "Piss-poor", says Steve, 'They Might Be The Worst Band In The World", agrees Jarvis. "Is this a joke?" asks Nick. No, it's scarily real. Mark tries not to think about them at all. Well Michelle, you asked!

"I just got back yesterday from visiting North Cape in the Arctic Circle, Norway. I like the northern climate, it leaves me reflective. As for Oslo - there's just a lot of pretty girls". Thanks Steve, we always knew you were pretty "cool"...

"[Viv Stanshall] was in a bad state when we met him for D. Y.R. T.F. T?. He had flashes of clarity and was very funny sporadically. He seemed like a really nice man who'd got lost. I used to like "Sir Henry..." but found it a bit studenty when I heard it recently. He's got a very beautiful speaking voice". Ok Simon? As for John Shuttleworth, who we think is quite amusing, the group are divided: Nick gives him 8/10, "faultless" (hold on Nick, shouldn't that be 10/10 then?) and Candida thinks he's great, but "what about Ken and Mary?". John's antics don't really amuse Mark (what does?) although he's glad he "shows an interest in the Derbyshire countryside". Us too, Mark. Steve and Jarvis find him boring, though Jarvis liked the radio show.

Candida: "Being flooded and trying to sail a makeshift boat in the garden and the army coming to save us and lots of sandbags and tins of disgusting army food". Pretty exciting stuff! Nick's romanticised memory of his childhood was "playing in the woods, rope swing, all that kind of thing" (Actually, that's what I did, too...it was great...). Jarvis: "My Grandad making me a time machine for my birthday". Wow! Pretty cool! Did it work?? Mark, what about your memories of childhood? Mark: "Oh, I'm no good at remembering stuff like that". Oh.

Manics first. Mark used to be a massive fan, once making the treacherous journey down to Leicester to see them in fact - however "they no longer sustain my interest". Candida likes them, Jarvis finds them "good but exhausting", Steve thinks they're "overrated", and Nick gives them "7/10: good for a group with two short fellas and one tall". Indeed. As for the lift question, Nick plumps for a "lift engineer", Candida goes for Leonardo DiCaprio (ugh!), Jarvis goes for Spiderman, and Steve chooses Reeves Gabrels. I don't know who that is either. Mark's not fussy - "a pretty model who falls in love with me in the time it takes for us to be rescued".

Pretty difficult to pick a fave Roxy Music song, most of them being so fantastic and all, but they succeeded. Mark's favourite is "Casanova", from Country Life. "He was in the studio a couple of weeks ago, he always looked quite miserable. And he sat behind me at the premiere of "Twelve Monkeys". Cool. Jarvis' fave is "Pyjamarama" whilst Steve prefers "Dance Away", "Avalon", or "Love is the Drug" (all the smooth ones) and has met him briefly. Candida loves them all, but especially "Love is the Drug". Candida "has bumped into Bryan (like you do), and we said hello, he looks good". Nick has in fact sat next to Mr Ferry on a sofa, and his fave is "Love is The Drug" too. So, if you've never heard "Love is the Drug", check it out kids! As for Kraftwerk at Tribal Gathering, I could easily fill the rest of the newsletter with frantic descriptions on how amazing they were, but instead I'll pass the mic to Mr Webber: "I did. It was good they made no compromise, but I was quite disappointed that it was basically the same show and music as when they toured with 'The Mix'". Oh well, what a surprise, Mark's the only person out of 33,000 not to enjoy the greatest concert of the decade so far. Oh, except Steve and Jarvis: "Never meet your heroes I guess". God!!!

Pulp don't do many covers as you know, and Whysky in a Jar was broadcast on France Inter for a Black Session back in 1996. Nick thinks it's "a crackin' song. Tribute to Lynott", which is as good a reason as any. Jarvis agrees - "as a tribute to Phil"; Candida said, "why not?", Steve said "it's Bernard Lenoir's fault". Luckily Mark gave us the real answer: "The French always make us do covers, which means just having to learn something in a hurry. We don't have any other people's songs in our repertoire so it's always last minute thing and people shouldn't read too much in to the cover versions we've performed". Hope that answers your question, Dominique. As for the Inside Susan/Melody Nelson thing, Steve responds "I don't think so but I like songs with unconventional structures"; Jarvis: "No, 'cos I only heard it after". Ok, and lastly the Something Changed video - anyone remember? Candida: "at the same TV Centre as TOTP, Eastenders and Grange Hill are recorded" Yes, but where?? Mark: "Yes, I do think it was Elstree studios". Nick: "Borehamwood Studios, where TOTP is made". Steve? "Borehamwood, Lon­don". This is the correct answer (or is it?).

Nick's nightmare would be "having to hear nails scraping down a blackboard a lot". Hmm, yes, can be nasty, that. Mark's only worry is "not getting another girlfriend"; Oh Mark! Don't be so SILLY. Jarvis' worst fear is "losing my mind", Steve's is "a life of boredom, alone"; Candida: "Is it stupid to say a one year tour?".
Errrr......Mark, so when did you join Pulp? "I first played with them at The Powerhaus in London on 27/12/91 (Stylophone on O.U.) but it was 28th July 1995 when they first asked me to join the group (that makes it 2 years ago yesterday!). What a rock and roll lifestyle Mark's lead, eh kids? Candida's has been similarly exciting - "yes, I did [have piano lessons] can you not tell?".

Very well spotted, Daniel, and do you know, I'm not sure if Pulp were even aware of it before you pointed it out. Nick: "Hmmm. Probably a conspiracy"; Mark: "Just a coincidence of the length of the song titles and the order they appear in. I'd never noticed... "Mark!! You'll be telling me you don't believe in God next! Candida: "I have to say I'd never noticed that"; Steve: "We always write song titles like that"; and Jarvis: "because it's a present". Oh, ha, ha.

What about God then? Nick: "Sorry but I can't say I do"; Mark: "Not in any religious sense, but kind of in a personal way"; similarly, Candida: "I do believe in God, but in my own way, because I wouldn't go to church or say I was religious"; Steve: "I am agnostic, until proven otherwise"; and Jarvis: "Sometimes, but I'm against organised religion". Well there goes another fan!

You have to remember Louise, Pulp lived through the 80's, when dodgy haircuts were obligatory, so there's bound to be a few bad hair days going on...Nick? 'That particular haircut took place in Brixton Academy dressing room (by Justin at Base Cuts, Ladbroke Grove, reasonable rates, no appointment necessary) and with hindsight the worst one was the Birds Nest, circa 1981. Was trendy at the time honest". Yeah right Nick. Mark's "not done too badly in this area, although I'm never very happy with my hair. I'm sure everyone has seen videos of me on The Word & The Beat - that's the most extreme hairstyle I ever had" (For those of you who missed it, think of Farrah Fawcett Majors); Candida doesn't risk it: "I've only had my hair cut professionally 6 or 7 times, I always used to cut it myself'; Steve says, "too many to mention", and Jarvis, who let's face it, has ace hair, said that "an ex girlfriend gave me bald patches" - was that on purpose? Nasty.

Bjork is popular with all but Mark: "usually interesting but ultimately unsatisfying" and scores 6.75/10 on the Nickometer. Radiohead are even more popular (God knows why): "smart", "I'm a fan", "I like them", "extremely nice chaps - like the lp 6/10", and "I first found myself liking them despite myself and now concede that they are pretty great". God!!! As for Gene and Faithless, the general concensus ranged from: "not interested at all in their music", "don't like"; "poor" "shocking", to "haven't the faintest idea who/what they are, 0/10". Well, I'd go along with that.

Turns out it was Tony Perrin, who you will remember used to manage top black-clad pop combo The Mission, now managing (if that's the right word) Embrace, who I believe are an up and coming Oasis rip off band, something like that? What a scary thought.

Fortunately for Jarvis, "there was, but someone taped over it" - bet that person is kicking themselves now, eh?

This was the early 1980's, when quite a lot of the people reading this weren't born, and old crones like myself were doing their O Levels... Jarvis' mum "took [him] to Newcastle, there were lots of Bonnie Langford types" - or Paula Yates types, presumably. Think you were lucky not to get picked, you might have ended up working with her!

"I think we did a video for Shakespeare Rock, replies Jarvis, but this is all we managed to get out of him; what happened to the video, no one knows, which is probably a very good thing.

Mark likes most of their records: 'The new single is pretty great, but I've not heard their lp"; Candida likes the old stuff, especially "Killing Moon" and "Seven Seas", but isn't keen on the new songs. Steve and Jarvis like the single but Nick reckons that comebacks just don't work, giving the old songs 8/10, the new stuff 3/10.

Jarvis replies: 'They were a present from my Uncle's German in-laws. My mum thought I looked 'cute'in them". And you did Jarvis, you did.

Obviously a keen bass player, Claire..let's hope Steve is as enthusiastic. Over to you, Steve: "(i) A friend had a band without a bass player and I wanted to be in a band, nothing more, (ii) Paul McCartney and James Jamerson are the most melodic to me; and (iii) because it's nice and bass-y." Hope that answers your questions Claire, that's all from Doctor Pulp for now, this is me signing off.

Mark replies, and rightly so, that the Spice Girls are not "the best anything", whereas Candida is more polite: "colourful yet manufactured...they were here [the studio where this interview took place] for a while, I would have said hello..." Nick is more forthright: "Well, they'll be gone soon so it's not worth getting into a lather about it. Avoid the film!"

Mark (Mr Cable), doesn't really have a favourite programme right now, he prefers to watch dodgy videos. Nick's top TV shows are Alan Partridge, Top Gear, The Fast Show, and Crimestoppers. Candida's all time favourite programme is Coronation Street.

"Try not to think about either", says Mr Webber, very sensibly. Candida has no idea who Andy Coulson is, neither did I till Mark explained - he sounds like an absolute arse. Nick is the only person who seemed to know who Andy Coulson is: "like most tabloid journalists he is likely to be an insignificant, insecure, useless insect (insult to insects)". As for the Spice Girls, we all agreed that Geri is the most repulsive, but it was a tricky choice. "Slapper", according to Nick, who also nominated Posh because she can only to the "shoulders" dance. I'll have to check that out!

"France is top", says Nick - "a delicate blend of wine, food, places and people"; Candida had just come back from a week in France, so is a good person to ask: "I like the whole culture and atmosphere, and the buildings". Mark: "I ended up liking France a lot more after growing up thinking for some reason that I wouldn't" Eh??

Mark hasn't seen it; Candida has, and actually spotted the street where she used to live, off Meersbrook Park. She agrees that it does reflect some aspects of life in Sheffield. Nick reckons it's great - and does indeed reflect certain aspects of Sheffield, "although the editing made some places seem a lot closer than they actually are! In the second dole office scene, the guy at the office window with long hair is my mate Jed". Cool!

"I knew about Disco 3000 of course, but it didn't make the connection with our song 'til a while afterwards. I guess Jarvis put Disco and 2000 together, so we should ask him. I think it may be coincidence". Thanks, Mark. Sadly Jarvis was not available for comment.

Mark: "What?"

Do Pulp rate David Bowie??? Do donkeys like carrots??? At this point everything had to stop whilst Candida tried to remember one of her favourite songs, it took a long time coming but luckily Mark managed to identify the lyrics she was humming - it was Sorrow; Under Pressure is also a favourite one. Candida's top Bowie lp's are Love You 'til Tuesday and The Ultimate Collection, which Mark was quick to point out, are not "proper" lp's...Mark rates Bowie "very highly", as do we all really, but two of his favourite songs are Wild Is The Wind and Breaking Glass. Mark admits that he is "just learning about Magazine" (bit late!) whilst Candida thinks "Song From Under The Floorboards" is ace, which it is. Nick comes up with the best answer: "Bowie has written some of the greatest ever tunes, up to 1980 - Heroes, DJ, Ashes to ashes,changes etc...HOWEVER, I believe him to be a right prat. Never met him, but saw an interview with him in the 80's. He wore fingerless gloves. Duh! Style casualty.

Thanks to Nick for that excellent summing up of the greatest pop star of the seventies."

Nick: "Believe it or not I'm too young to have taken much notice, but Suzi Quatro seemed to get my attention". Candida and Mark are too young to remember it that well too, although Candida has vivid memories of kids in school with Slade haircuts (scary), and Mark remembers Gilbert O'Sullivan and The Wombles. I think someone should explain the concept of Glam Rock to Mark once again, don't you?

Mark hasn't got a favourite author but reckons "City of Night" by John Rechy is pretty good; Candida's top author is Kazuo Ishiguro, and one of her favourite books is the Name Of The Rose, by Umberto Eco...heavy going, Candida! Nick's into history books, rather than specific authors. Can I just say that I just read Tom Wolfe's The Right Stuff, and that it's one of my top two books ever. Thanks.

"Amazing", says Candida, whereas Mark thought it was "really good until I heard the album, then I was disappointed"; I have to agree with Mark there. Nick regards it "like a fighter who's been out for the count of nine but jumps up and twats his opponent and wins the bout". Spot on Nick! Everyone reckons they are "very good live", though.

Mark: "Yes, and no". Candida doesn't think she would recognize him. Nick: "I can and no".

Drugs and cigarettes, eh? Mark thinks both are "terrible", and I guess Candida does too, as she does neither. Honest! Nick says,rightly, "They're the same thing". As for Iceland, Pulp are more enthusiastic. I think all of Pulp would like to return, though not necessarily to perform. Pop stars are probably the only people who can afford to go anyway! Nick finds Iceland "wonderful, anytime".

He's not, it was a joke!

Very topical question, this one, as Candida is undergoing treatment right now, to detect any allergies she might have, and it looks like it may well be wheat - bad one! In reply to the second part of the question, she said, "it makes me feel good". Nick is allergic - "just to work".

Nope, Candida never got picked on, because it wasn't known about when she was at school in the same way as it is now.

No beating about the bush here from Candida: "Abysmal American shite who look like girls" (!!Who would have thought something so ugly could come out of someone so beautiful??). Mark just finds them "disturbing". Nick, who was on a roll by this point, comes out with "Hanson!!!?? Are you kidding!! The little one should be quietly taken to one side and removed. I bet the other two really hate him like only brothers can, and only let him be in the group 'cos their mum sez so". Thanks for that, Nick.

"It was along time coming," says Nick, "now I'd like to see Tony doing something a bit more radical". Both Mark and Candida were pleased about this, though Mark doesn't think "it's important". Mark, it might not be important to you, but Government policies do actually affect us ordinary human beings, just think yourself lucky you're not a single parent.

"Too long ago to remember", says Candida, but she did admit to once being caught for underage drinking when she was 16...police came round the house and everything! Scary. Mark can't remember either, like me, he "never used to get drunk or go to parties". It's true! We're making up for it now though. Nick: "probably at my Mum and Dad's parties, drinking other peoples lager etc, about 11-ish. Used to sneak Kronenbourg lager to school and drink it in the woods. Reet 'ard."

"Abysmal", says Mark, obviously not a big fan...Candida thinks they're alright. Sorry Kieran! Nick thinks they're good though, citing Outer Space as a favourite tune.

I didn't know this was on the cards, but Mark explained that it's not exactly the original TT that would be getting back together - since Robbie and Mark weren't interested, it was only going to be Howard and - what's the other one called? Mark thought it was Donald!!! But we soon put him straight, anyway, what it comes down to is that no-one is very bothered about it at all, Jenny. "Is it a joke?", said Mark. "Leave it out lads", says Nick.

I'll get Jarvis to answer the first one next time, but as for the second question, Candida can't remember a time when she wasn't working, and Mark said "sit at home miserable". Mark!! I'm going to stop printing your answers unless you cheer up! Nick "walks the dog, entertains Jackson, maintains his fleet of cars, potters about the house...pretty rock 'n' roll, really".

Jarvis wasn't around to answer the first part of the question, so we asked Mark and Candida instead: Mark usually watches, but only to "look for imperfections (in Candida's performance)". Candida will watch herself, but through her fingers, and will also be on the look out for imperfections "(in Mark's brain)"...err, thanks, Candida, for that. As for listening to Pulp for pleasure, Mark used to but doesn't any more, and Candida does occasionally, usually to the live version of Common People on the b side of Misshapes.

Steve, what are you listening to?! Sort yourself out mate. I mean it's ok to like Duran Duran, they were always top entertainment, but GENESIS???? There's just no excuse. Nick knows: "Now then Steve. This is 1997, not 1987. These groups were shit in '87 so that about says it all." Mark prefers Japan and Visage, Candida quite liked some Simple Minds...I'm not asking anyone else.

Adverts seem to have gone downhill in the last few years, but Candida remembered one for Foster Grant sunglasses and Lee Cooper jeans that she used to like; Mark listens to the radio more than tv, and did the most incredible impression of an advert from LBC Radio, I forget what it was for now, but it culminated in Mark saying, in a ridiculous voice, "It had my father's eyes and Bobo's filthy brown ears". You had to be there really. Nick rates the Tunes one with Darth Vadar: "Cracks me up - watch out for the camp bit at the end!"

Candida doesn't drive, but if she did, she would indeed stop to pick up hitchhikers, "so long as they were girls". Mark won't, he's "too scared". God! Pop Stars of today, eh? I bet Iggy Pop would pick up hitchhikers. I bet Brian Wil....err, no, maybe not. Nick: "Not really; when I used to hitch hike, the people who gave you lifts often seemed a bit odd, and I wouldn't want to be thought of in that "odd" way. Know what I mean?"

Well Matthew, nothing weird ever happens on tour any more, not since Mark stopped being tour manager back in...whenever it was. It's too well organised these days for anything to go wrong, it's like a military operation. As for favourite tunes, Candida likes Gary's "Cars" but doesnt have a favourite Kraftwerk tune. Mark's is "Antenna". Our favourite Kraftwerk songs at the moment are "Kometenmelodie 11" and "Ruckzack".

Pulp were fairly unanimous on this one. Nick reckons that 99.9% of all American comedy programmes are rubbish, and really shouldn't be on television at all. In fact it would be safe to say that he got uncharacteristically irate about this, finally just deciding that "they should all be shot". Mark was less elaborate about his feelings: "I hate it. I wish it didn't exist". Hurrah! Candida thinks it's not too bad - but then confessed to only having seen three episodes. Does that answer your question, Kerrie?

Candida: "Yes".

Nick really liked the film, thinks it's great - "it's nice to see Sheffield in the public eye a bit more". However he was a bit miffed about the lack of recognition that Pulp got for Deep Fried In Kelvin, which appears in the film but not on the soundtrack. Mark laughed at the words "Sheffield" and "revival", can't say I blame him - he found it very difficult to exhibit any interest whatsoever.

Clearly this is going back a long way, and without Jarvis to answer, nobody can be certain, but the general consensus was that there never was anyone called Neil - could you perhaps be mistaking him for either Mark "Tilly" Tillbrook or Michael Paramore? There were only, as far as anyone remembers, three people in In A Bell Jar - Tim, Michael Paramore, and his sister, whose name I've forgotten (Julie?) - never anyone called Neil. Does this help? I realise it's a bit flimsy, but 1983 is a long time ago! As for the Tim Allcard question, Nick remembers seeing Pulp play the Library Theatre in Sheffield, some time before Freaks was recorded, with Tim playing - but he couldn't be more specific about the date. I think you're asking a lot here, Tim, I can't remember what groups I saw last year, never mind 15 years ago!

Mark says it's "in storage somewhere" - if you think about it, there must be loads and loads of stuff stashed away somewhere - a treasure trove of Pulp memorabilia. Wow!

Jarvis wasn't around to answer your question, Sylvia, but I think we can believe Mark and Nick when they say that she is a "composite fantasy figure" - i.e., made up out of lots of different women, both real and imagined.

Lots of people ask about songs that were played live for a while and then just dropped...The Boss can be heard on bootleg tapes from the post Separations period, and, according to Nick, was never treated seriously - it was always a bit of a joke and was dumped pretty quickly. That's it! As for the St Etienne question, everyone liked them at the time (oh, except me), but since that fateful tour back in 1993 (the one where Pulp blew them off stage every night you mean?), St Etienne have lost their halo. Candida was really into them, and used to watch them every night, but has since gone off them. Nick feels that they need a new direction, but despite that, was going to see them at The Leadmill that weekend! Mark managed to agree that "they are really nice people", but couldn't bring himself to comment on the music!

Julien seems to be asking two questions here: Do Pulp like industrial bands? And, do they like the three groups listed? Because I think we all agree that Depeche Mode don't really qualify as "industrial". SPK anyone? Test Department? Nick admits to "liking a lot of dodgy music" in the 1980's, but feels that Depeche Mode don't really cut it in the same way as, say, Einsturzende Neubauten. This is not a recommendation to go out and buy any of these records, Julien! Nick agrees that Test Department were "the kings of industrial music", and that everyone else was "just playing at it". Steve thinks that Trent Reznor's written some pretty interesting songs, but you wouldn't really want to listen to them without some kind of accompaniment - he reckons they'd make good film scores. Candida used to like some Depeche Mode songs - New Life, See You, and Just Can't Get Enough, and of course you couldn't really get away from New Order's Blue Monday for most of the 1980's - it just wasn 't possible....but you can have too much of a good thing!

Candida "used to like them, especially the "Boys Don't Cry" lp. Steve thought there was one song he liked, and decided it was "Lullaby" (is that right?); Mark, now here's a surprise - Mark finds them "pointless". Nick, on the other hand, went off on a bit of a nostalgia trip at this point, and it's also worth pointing out that Richard (Hawley) was going through the entire Cure back catalogue, the good stuff anyway, going "Seventeen Seconds - great album! Pornography - fantastic! Faith - Amazing record!!!" and so on. Made me feel very old. Going back to Nick, though, he saw them loads of times around 1983/84 (Thomas probably wasn't even born in 1983), up to when they released "The Walk". He even confessed to having a bit of a Robert Smith hairdo around that time, which Richard confirmed. Scary.

Mark: "Croft!"; Nick: "Anneka"; Candida: "Anneka Rice, definitely".

Nick's eyes lit up at the mention of "The Queen", he and Jarvis went to a night called "Respect" there once. The best thing about it was this group of dancers in a circle, Run DMC style, having a breakdance competition, which sounded pretty great. And yes, in anticipation of everyone's next question, Jarvis was tempted to have a go himself - but was dissuaded. A wise move I think! As for French House music, Steve's favourite label at the moment is Roule, (run by Thomas Bangalter) - completely fantastic. In fact we at Pulp People think the support for Finsbury Park should consist entirely of French House DJ's and The Electric Sound Of Joy.

Mark, Nick, and Candida all agreed that they have a much lower hassle factor than "certain other higher profile members of the group", and that they don't get what could be seen as 'pestered'. Mark tries to be polite, as does Nick, who did say that sometimes you get people who take it just a little bit too far. You have to respect people's space, whether they are pop stars or not, but on the whole, it's not a problem at all.

Jarvis says, yes, so long as it doesn't have any double bass in it. The more electronic, the better. Mark absolutely loves it (not really!) - no, he doesn't actually, unless it's "served with guitar". Candida's reply was "No way!".

Mark's favourite teams are Brazil and Holland, and he did find himself hooked in the later rounds. Jarvis isn't mad on football, but was quite into the World Cup. He confessed that he really wanted England to win, and when they got knocked out, his allegience veered towards Croatia, more because of the hard time they've had recently than their footballing skills (I'm not sure Croatians would refer to the recent troubles as "a hard time", but I see what you're getting at - Ed.). Candida didn't watch it much, but supported England.

Jarvis points out that obviously it's different things for different people, but for him it's when you put the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door, and people still insist on knocking on your door and interrupting! A particularly annoying excuse is "Can I turn your bed down?", to which he replies "It's not making any noise". Ho ho. He doesnt complain often though, because he's such a nice guy. Candida says the most common problem is the door key not fitting, but that's not exactly a complaint as such, is it. Mark thought about this one for ages before bemoaning the fact that Pulp Tour Manager Richard Priest "always gets a larger room than the group, an executive suite with fax and living accomodation, whilst the group end up with a bed in a cupboard"...doesnt sound very fair, eh readers?

Mark's favourite Pulp video is Razzmatazz, and favourite song, well that's always been My Legendary Girlfriend. Jarvis' favourite video is This Is Hardcore, but says that the one for Party Hard (unseen at time of writing) is a bit of a classic too. Candidia agrees with Party Hard, but also likes Common People. She had trouble thinking of a favourite song, but she's listening to Mile End a lot at the moment.

Clearly there is a big difference between the two. Jarvis points out that when it's a festival, it's not really 'your' concert, so you treat it differently; with a smaller venue you can make it much more your own - the two are not really in competition, just different. Jarvis likes to mix and match the two! Mark found the concept of Massy Hall as a 'small' venue pretty hilarious, but once he'd got over that, he said he was very interested in playing 'proper' small venues at the moment, but that no-one else was...he reckons that once you start playing venues the size of Massy Hall, there's not much difference whether it's 4000 or 40,000.

Mark's not a fan of their music, but found their book, "Pet Shop Boys Literally" very enjoyable. Candida couldn't think of the song of theirs that she really liked - the lyric "left to my own devices" is definitely in it though! Jarvis confessed to liking them at the time, his favourite song being "Suburbia", but he doesn't listen to them a lot these days.

It turns out that when Pulp were doing demos for the last album, All Saints were working at the same studios. They seemed affable enough, said Jarvis, but he was put off any further contact because they were very matey with Samantha (J)anus - obviously very off putting. Candida liked "Never Ever", and admits to being intruiged by their dancing - which they seem to manage without actually moving much. I'm not saying what Mark said in reply to this question.

Mark said that Pulp would really like to play a proper concert in Italy, but for some reason their agent refuses to send them there! As for Italian music, he isn't a fan. Candida would really like to play Italy too, but she isn't really a big fan of Italian music, preferring classical & opera to pop. Jarvis had to think a bit before remembering that Ennio Morhcone is of course Italian, and we all love him; apart from that the only singer he could think of was Zucchero, who is plainly absolutely appalling!

Jarvis liked it, thought it was quite good; Mark found it "quite amusing".

If they hadn't, it would almost certainly have had to have a certificate 15, "which would have prevented Pulp's younger audience from witnessing the live Pulp experience" (Jarvis); "which would have meant far fewer sales" (Alex).

Jarvis found the whole experience rather unnerving, as is to be expected; but "I got over it", he says.

I've got to tell you Kathy, Jarvis was not keen on (Keenan, geddit?!!) the idea of your tattoo, and said that he didn't like to encourage that sort of thing, but, when pushed, said, maybe a daffodil. Do you get daffs in Australia I wonder?

You're asking the right people here Simon, as you probably know Jarvis is a big fan - and both he, Candida and Mark all rate Mike Nesmith the most highly, as do we here at Pulp Towers. Probably because he was the only one with any talent.

Jarvis did actually see Cabaret Voltaire and Clock DVA, but said that he was more interested in the groups that never made it big, especially Artery and I'm So Hollow (readers may remember that Jarvis played out their John Peel Show stint with tracks from these two groups) - he thinks they were really good. Candida saw The Human League at Top Rank, who were very good, and also Cabaret Voltaire, supporting the Fall, but she didn't like them. Fascinating fact: Candida once went out with a brother of a member of Vice versa, before they became ABC.

This is particularly interesting. Jarvis said that Richard Priest (Pulp's ace Tour Manager) has a habit of leaving odd/interesting things on the stage to relieve the tedium of soundchecks, and this was one such thing. Jarvis spotted the toothbrush, which has a story all of it's own: during the concert in Stockholm back in July, Jarvis was handed a special Swedish toothbrush by a fan, Pulp Person.........It just so happens that there is a brand of toothbrush in Sweden named Pulp! Cool. Anyway.....gave Jarvis one, and it obviously got picked up by Richard after the show, and eventually found it's way on to centre stage at Finsbury Park! Kind of fitting I think. Hope that answers your question Leona - oh, and no, Jarvis didn't clean his teeth with it afterwards!

Jarvis' faves were Add N To X, mainly because of their fantastic outfits! He was particularly taken by Ann's extra-thick leather skirt, so thick that it stuck out in a triangle, and their furry moon boots - I'm jealous! He also enjoyed Kid Loco. Mark "didn't like any of them". You've got to laugh, haven't you. Candida said Mark wasn't even there for most of the day so how could he know? She enjoyed Bikini Beach and Catatonia the most.

As expected, Jarvis was "intensly embarrassed" by the whole thing, but resigned himself to it because, let's face it, a mother's function is to embarrass their children. He was "appalled" when she told him, as any normal person would be. But what can you do??

Mark: "No idea". Jarvis said he hadn't decided yet, so long as he was with friends, that's all he really wanted. He did go as far as to say "not on an aeroplane, because all the computers are going to go down (closely followed by the planes), and certainly not in the Millenium Dome." Candida too said she would like to spend it with family and friends.

The name Jimmy Sellars drew a blank with everyone except Jarvis: turns out he was Pulp's second drummer, who played at The Leadmill in Pulp's first ever Sheffield concert. Some time after that, they played a concert at Stradbrook Community Centre (nice!) with a group called Crude. The funny thing is, Jimmy left Pulp to join them, because they let him play keyborads, which is what he really wanted; bet he regrets that now, eh readers!

Lots of people ask about this, so I'm glad we were able to get an official answer. Pulp had nothing to do with that particular shot, it was purely down to Donald Milne, who, as half of the photographic partnership Donald Milne & Rankin, took along a set of cut out figures to a wedding he happened to be going to, and snapped that particular shot. Ace! Now we know.

Candida: "Don't ask me!". Jarvis says that the song itself is only the regulation four minutes - presumably Div is referring to the note at the end; this isn't really part of the song, it's purpose is mainly just to send you off to sleep, which, let's face it, it does most successfully. Mark said "What kind of stupid question is that". Sorry Div, but we tell it how it is!

Mark has different favourite colours for different things: at the moment his favourite colour clothes-wise is grey (it's the new black, you know), whereas for general home decoration (bed linen, carpets, etc) he favours blue, this is true - his house is very blue indeed. As for food, top of the menu in the Webber household is Mesclun Salad - apparently this is a very trendy american dish made with special organic lettuce. I'm sorry Mark, but couldn't you just say "pie" or "pasta" or something ???? Mesclun Salad indeed. As for the second part of the question, he struggled for an answer but came up with "Jason Pierce and Dean Wareham, but I was playing guitar before I met them..."

Ah ha, the mysterious Sweet People and their beautiful song "And The Birds Were Singing". Turns out this is from about 1978, it's French, and it's on a Polydor cassette album belonging to Jarvis. It's definitely French because it's actually called "Et Les Oiseaux Chantaient". It's the best thing by miles on the album - the rest isn't quite as lovely! Oh, and in reply to Milena's query about the Dory Previn song played on the same show, "The Lady With The Braid" is from an album called, bizarrely, "Mythical Kings and Iguanas", which was released in the early seventies. Again, it's the only good song on the album!

Robert is an old pal of Jarvis' from St Martins, and has collaborated on several film projects with Pulp, including Do You Remember The First Time? and F.E.E.LI.N.G.C.A.L.L.E.D.L.I.V.E. Mark: "He is an out of work actor".

Nick says: "Obviously Pulp are an underground thing in the U.S. It's not surprising, as we're not rap / heavy metal / country & western...more's the pity!". So David, maybe Island will want to spend a bit more money promoting Pulp in the states when their next album, "Hello Pulpy" featuring MC Rapmaster Mackey is released in the spring.

Steve responds: "I'd recommend that you'll learn much more by listening to the records and working them out. They're all quite easy and if you get them wrong you might even improve them". So there you have it - practice makes perfect!

Nick: "I'm not big muckas with any particular celebs. I'm sure they are all nice people. It's often the places that they frequent that are objectionable. The Gallaghers are fun/ nightmares inequal measures". Candida: "Catatonia, Cast, Radiohead, Tiger, Eels, St Etienne...in fact I've found almost every group I've met to be friendly. The Gallagher brothers are fine". There you are - the stars tell it how it really is. Everyone's nice!

Candida: Divine Comedy - No, no; Dad's Army - Yes.
Nick: Divine Comedy - No; Dad's Army - Yes.

Nick: "Perth was great. Remember, size isn't everything dear".

Candida: Rialto - No, no, no; Gomez - No, no, no; Fun Lovin' Criminals - No, no.
Nick: Rialto - Quite; Gomez - OK; Fun Lovin' Criminals - Quite.

Not sure if we will ever get to the bottom of this Ian, it's difficult to prove; but Jarvis did attend a Mission concert at Wembley Arena, but whether or not he was filmed is another story. So, can't really answer that one, sorry.

Nick: "I never did get to 'know' them. Could you clarify 'cherries'?".

Candida: "If anything, No. 2". Not quite sure what that means!! Both or neither, probably. Nick says "I would say the latter, more like a relation than a sequel".

Steve: I'd, for the record, like to put it straight. My name is SLEEVE MACQUEY

Candida answers: "I wrote the riff and I know nothing of the early Pulp 'epic'. It just happened. We were playing the sample, Jarvis was playing piano, and I just started playing the strings, hoping to write something happy. That didn't happen."

Steve says: "Yes, it's true, Mother helped organise the legendary 'Dolebusters'. It helped launch such luminaries as the 'F* *k City Sh*tters', etc. As for the video, refer to the anorak (Mark)". Thanks Steve!
Unfortunately the anorak was not available for comment, but I'll keep trying to get some more info on that one Mark.

Candida: "I like about five REM songs and that's it. One of them is "Everybody Hurts". Nick: "REM are ok in moderation. Stipey's voice can get a bit much".

Nick: "Sometimes it's difficult for decisions to be made by committee. Pulp democracy changes depending on the subject in question", Candida: "I'll have to come to an agreement with the rest of the band before I answer this one, unless Jarvis has a particular answer", (is that a joke? I can't work that out! Stupid Ed.).

Only Nick answered this one: "The politest people in the music business. Truly nice chaps. Thom could do with cheering up a bit". Nick wins the understatement of the century prize there!

Nick: When a group you know comes to town then you might go along and say hello, but generally, no. As for cartoon characters, it would be Muttley. Candida replies that yes, she has an annual convention where every group that has ever supported Pulp can come on her yacht and buy champagne all night. And regarding the cartoon character: "I've been asked this one before; then I said Penelope Pitsop from Wacky Races; now I say the sexy long haired cat in 'Lady & The Tramp' who sings 'He's a Tramp'. Either that or Cruella de Ville."

Nick: Books and a kettle
Mark: Disappointment

Nick: I thought it was a bit poor - easily forgotten. I missed the Human League programme - the League also rose from the lower reaches of Sheffield's music scene. Candida didn't see the Pulp spoof herself but heard that it got her, Steve and Jarvis down to a 't.

Nick: My favourite item of clothing is a pair of ridiculous "Boyz II Men" promotional black gloves, they are manufactured pop drivel.
Mark: Mmm... well, you're trying to make us sound fickle and stupid now aren 't you. Years ago it was probably a brown terry towelling T-shirt and now it'll be some poncey gear from Helmut Lang or Costume National Homme. (You see Mark! You DO understand comedy!)
Candida: My favourite item of clothing is a lilac button up the front skirt, and the answer to the second question is "Not a lot'.

Nick: The Fear Mark: The Fear Candida: Probably the title track

Nick: Some Who, yeah, but it can get on your tits after a bit. Mr Moon is a bit of a one.
Mark: The only thing I share with The Who is respect for Baba Riley
Candida: Oh yes.

Nick: We only do horrific shows like that if we're getting bin liners of cash as compensation for stress.
Mark: Private parties are no fun for the talented. Do not whore yourself - we have learned that much. Mind you, if it means getting some decent free clothes...
Candida: I've often thought of it!

Nick: I think Meatloaf is good 'ol overblown pomp rock fun. Is the Amiga steam powered?
Mark: I like Dead Ringer for Love. I went straight from the ZX81 to Spectrum on to those BBC computers. They were not very fashionable.
Candida: I must admit I got his autograph when we were on MTV together, when I was still heady with the heights of fame.

Mark: We all have to squeeze him.

Well we'd all like to know the answer to that one Terra but unfortunately Jarvis wasn't quite ready to tell us yet.

Candida: Well, I never liked the Britpop idea but the sad thing is, now that it's gone - which it has - what we are left with is much, much worse, and that does matter.
Nick: Thank god, yes. and not in the slightest.

Candida: Hooray! Gail, Alma, Hayley - of course - Denise, Rita, Steve McDonald's not bad, Jackie Dobbs, The Battersbys, Deirdre, Gary Mallet; And Steve Coogan is quite amazing.
Nick: The only one of Mr Cogan's characters that's any cop is Alan Partridge. The rest are a bit toss really. Mark: I do not understand comedy

Mark: JC doesn't like it much.
Jarvis: It would incite civil unrest - I just can't handle that kind of responsibility

Mark: I like him OK, but not a real big fan. No favourites.
Jarvis: It's a real mistake to get Kenneth Branagh to be a surrogate version of yourself - in fact Kenneth Branagh is a mistake, full stop. Early stuff was best - "Annie Hall" is good, especially Diane Keaton's clothes.

Mark: Poor choice of songs and the people don't care any more...
Jarvis: Ronan Keating

Mark: I've never been to reading
Jarvis: Yes, and I play Dungeons & Dragons most weekends

Mark: Ask me in thirty years
Jarvis: Too personal to share

Mark: I love Uncle Nick
Jarvis: He's the yardstick of quality (especially in the live performances stakes). Plus he keeps getting better and better.

Jarvis: I like proper metal such as Sabbath, Motorhead, Hawkwind and Heavy Rock of the late 60's such as Iron Butterfly etc.

Jarvis: Unlucky for some, i.e. anyone with ears.

Mark: Fucking great
Jarvis: I dunno, ask Denise Van Outen

Mark: The only one
Jarvis: I neither know nor care

Mark: Yes, that's why I'm here
Jarvis: They'd better say "yes".

Mark: Far too much. It's not interesting.
Jarvis: Biorhythms, chakra alignments, I-Ching forecast, personal hygiene, proximity to ley-lines / centres of earth magic, closing time.